Venting My time is almost up but....

[TrappedInBody]

For some years now I have contemplated dying. I have made some attempts but those have never been properly thought out or planned. Also, one thing has also held me back, and that is being my mum's only child. She's not been doing so well financially and health-wise and although she may have some support when I'm gone, she'll definitely be devastated. Two years ago, I decided that if I still feel this way after a year then I'll have to leave anyway. I gave myself a deadline and all (which was initially March 2023), but I've had to move it up to the end of this month because I'm done.
The problem is I really don't wanna hurt my mum. I wish she was strong and could find some solace but I don't think that'll happen. I'm too tired now to go on but this breaks my heart for her- if it makes any sense at all.
My other worry is, what if this does not work? I really don't want to fail this time around.

 

[FuneralCry]

I also have the fear of failing ctb. It is what holds me back from attempting personally. I just want to peacefully pass away without having to go through the process of planning ctb. It sounds so painful being in that situation, and I'm sorry that it has come to this point for you. I know that it can be upsetting for many, wanting so desperately to leave yet not wanting to hurt others. I understand that it can be hard to carry on when you are so tired of everything. I am also tired. I wish you relief from suffering in whatever you decide to do.

 

[TrappedInBody]

I also have the fear of failing ctb. It is what holds me back from attempting personally. I just want to peacefully pass away without having to go through the process of planning ctb. It sounds so painful being in that situation, and I'm sorry that it has come to this point for you. I know that it can be upsetting for many, wanting so desperately to leave yet not wanting to hurt others. I understand that it can be hard to carry on when you are so tired of everything. I am also tired. I wish you relief from suffering in whatever you decide to do.

Thank you. I wish the same for you too.