my sister makes me feel like shit

[NothingElseMatters]

she has a master degree(top university), has a well-paid job and she has more than 10 years experience, while i'm still in college, ie, don't even have a graduation(fucked up university), don't have a job, and i have barely zero years of experience. i'm fucking screwed, i keep asking myself where did it all go wrong and i can't find an answer. i may sound like a broken record but i have no one to vent to so here i'm posting. sorry about that, and please, if you are gonna be mean to me, just don't post. thanks.

 

[FuneralCry]

Life is just so horrible and unfair, many of us are disadvantaged through no fault of our own. Of course everything is determined by luck. I can imagine it must be a hopeless feeling, focusing on what others have as it can make us aware of what we are missing. I wish you the best.

 

[setup]

Honestly where u went wrong is comparing yourself to her. I'm sure u have skills she doesn't have or experiences she never dreamed. We all make choices. That's how we learn.

Lot of jobs out there that pay well with no degree. U should go into trades. But again everything is up to u and happiness is always a choice

 

[Deadweight]

You're sister is lucky, that's all. There's a prescribed ideal course or life and your sister had the right genetics and circumstances to take the full course.

Life is unpredictable, things may change for her in a heartbeat, accidents, illness happen. How close are you to her? Do you know despite all her growth and success, maybe deep down she's barely hanging on.

Anyway, comparison is a killer. You're on your path, she's on hers. Focus on what you can do.

 

[Maaizr]

Anyway, comparison is a killer. You're on your path, she's on hers. Focus on what you can do.

God i gotta remember this one.. keep it closer to me as time grows short, besides if anyones gonna kill me its me lmfao

 

[Superdeterminist]

I really reasonate with that. It's a really shitty feeling like you're sinking behind others and yes, having no concrete explanation makes it even worse.

I hate hearing about other people succeeding in life because every time I do, I think about how I'm not enjoying their success and it's a sharp jab to my self-worth. It shatters my mood for the rest of the day, maybe even week.

People think it's horrible to react like that and I wish I could be happier for people but I literally can't help it, the feelings just hit me. It's such an unimaginably soul-wrenching feeling that you're missing out on the joys of life that others get to enjoy.

I hate giving 'advice', but I have to say that I hope you do not accept any of the BS explanations some people will inevitably attempt to give you if you bring this up to them, unless they can REALLY back it up (they won't be able to). The real explanation is likely beyond all of us, extremely complex, and most importantly, bereft of any 'wrongdoing' on your part, because I don't think it can reasonably be denied that we exist in a universe where every effect follows unavoidably from a cause, and this chain of causes stretches back to a point far away from your knowledge or access.

Maybe the most important thing to recognise is that the future is open and none of us know what will happen going from here. But I don't know, because that uncertainty can also be distressing.

 

[Bot]

i feel the same way some times, i also have one friend who is disabled and his sis is having a good time, good degree, enough money to survive, and so on, he suffers even more trough that.. people might say dont compare yourself but i think its not possible to turn that off,. i hope you will feel better soon

 

[miulake]

I am in a similar situation. My sister has always had her life in order, while I kept fucking everything up. Career, Friends, Relations, I am in a bad place in every area of life.
I am now just a wagecuck. I am financially independent enough, so that's good. But nothing else to show for 3 decades of my miserable existence.

Although I attribute my issue to my family (mom and sister). Boys raised by women often turn out to be mentally ill, socially deficient. That's what happened to me and that's why I am pretty much a failure in life. I believe if I had a father, life would be much better.

 

[stellabelle]

she has a master degree(top university), has a well-paid job and she has more than 10 years experience, while i'm still in college, ie, don't even have a graduation(fucked up university), don't have a job, and i have barely zero years of experience. i'm fucking screwed, i keep asking myself where did it all go wrong and i can't find an answer. i may sound like a broken record but i have no one to vent to so here i'm posting. sorry about that, and please, if you are gonna be mean to me, just don't post. thanks.

Sounds redundant but I'm going to get metaphoric here.

How does someone chisel away at a block and turn it into a sculpture?

One motion at a time.

People discourage others from comparing accomplishments and I will agree that it is in fact unhealthy but difficult to avoid.

If I had to say ignore it, I would, although difficult not to.

 

[lobster salad]

she has a master degree(top university), has a well-paid job and she has more than 10 years experience, while i'm still in college, ie, don't even have a graduation(fucked up university), don't have a job, and i have barely zero years of experience.

Sadly relate, my sister is doing extremely well, finishing university, learning new languages, still sees light in life, has many friends and a lot of energy to be happy and social. Meanwhile I did poorly for my ordinary level exams a while back , thrown in the school of the stupids, felt shittier and now full time home lazing.

she winds in with the positivity and argues i am too negative, and how it affects my entire life which is true. when explained to her these are all natural human biases and heavily opinionated and not supported by facts, she gets angry and walks off.

I think she dislikes the fact that optimism is equally as valid as pessimism and a person laying on either spectrum can't always find reason or motivation to move to the other spectrum even if they wanted to because we pick sides based on our internal uncontrollable opinion and not always based on what we think and know is good for us.

Boys raised by women often turn out to be mentally ill, socially deficient. That's what happened to me and that's why I am pretty much a failure in life. I believe if I had a father, life would be much better.

I think this is quite true. Even in families like mine where a father is present, if the women are the ones who pay for the expenses, do the beatings, decide and mandate the hobbies their sons while the dad is a puppet alcoholic, the boys are gonna have a missing screw in their head. This happened to me

 

[Insomniac]

is she your older or younger sister? because if she is younger sister, it must feel even more unfair and stupid.