I saw this online, written by another Autistic person. It scares me how much I relate to it. It's made me realise that my life is doomed to be unfulfilled, full of pain and wasted potential, and never ending attempts at proving my worth. That's not a life at all. I don't share the relief that many do upon finding out they're autistic. My first thought was: 'So I'm stuck like this?' I don't think it's self loathing because I know I'm not the problem. I know that actually it's that the world and I are mismatched. We always just miss each other. Instead I think I'm realistic. Why should I 'settle' for a smaller life? A smaller life that still comes with unrelenting pain. It's not that there's no place for me in the world, but the world has made me feel like there isn't one. And that's fine. But I won't spend my entire life feeling deficient.
It's hard when you've grown up being excelling only to find that the world doesn't accommodate you. That you've reached the end.
I saw this online, written by another Autistic person. It scares me how much I relate to it. It's made me realise that my life is doomed to be unfulfilled, full of pain and wasted potential, and never ending attempts at proving my worth. That's not a life at all. I don't share the relief that many do upon finding out they're autistic. My first thought was: 'So I'm stuck like this?' I don't think it's self loathing because I know I'm not the problem. I know that actually it's that the world and I are mismatched. We always just miss each other. Instead I think I'm realistic. Why should I 'settle' for a smaller life? A smaller life that still comes with unrelenting pain. It's not that there's no place for me in the world, but the world has made me feel like there isn't one. And that's fine. But I won't spend my entire life feeling deficient.
