Making my plans again

[Idontmatter]

I feel like crap again this morning but I'm making my plans again. I have just about everything I need, just have to do a few more things before I leave. I feel like an asshole for leaving my family like this but it's the option I've chosen after years of fighting. My biggest fear is that I'll fail and will survive. Failure can't be an option.

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand having the fear of failing ctb. That is what holds me back from attempting personally. Life does just seem to be endless problems and suffering and I know that it's hard to carry on existing when you are so tired of everything. I hope that you find relief from what you are going through.

 

[Niirvana]

I understand you. It could be considered that I feel better but I will never stop being useless. I know that my destiny is ctb. I can't stand how stupid I am anymore.

 

[The Blackangel]

I know exactly what you're feeling. I have tried to hang myself dozens of times, and the most that happened every time was a sprained neck. I tried from all different heights with all different kinds of chains and ropes. I either hit the ground no matter how much I shortened it, or it wouldn't stay tied. I tried from a rafter in a 40 tall shop. No luck. So I'm holding onto a poison that I've been brewing that is more deadly than cyanide. The reason I haven't drank it yet is because it takes a long time for it to be ready. Like years. I have other methods that should work, but I've seen what happens when that goes wrong.

 

[Idontmatter]

I know exactly what you're feeling. I have tried to hang myself dozens of times, and the most that happened every time was a sprained neck. I tried from all different heights with all different kinds of chains and ropes. I either hit the ground no matter how much I shortened it, or it wouldn't stay tied. I tried from a rafter in a 40 tall shop. No luck. So I'm holding onto a poison that I've been brewing that is more deadly than cyanide. The reason I haven't drank it yet is because it takes a long time for it to be ready. Like years. I have other methods that should work, but I've seen what happens when that goes wrong.

You are braver than I . I'm a wimp and wouldn't be able to hang myself. I couldn't shoot myself either. I chose sn because it is easy to get and even though I'll have some discomfort it will still be manageable. I feel guilty for leaving my family but I hope they understand. I'm so exhausted and tired of fighting depression and anxiety.

 

[Idontmatter]

I keep reading over and over the successful threads of people taking sn. This might sound bad but it's getting me excited to finally do it. The permanent relief I'll have finally.

 

[jitendrabagaria786@]

I know exactly what you're feeling. I have tried to hang myself dozens of times, and the most that happened every time was a sprained neck. I tried from all different heights with all different kinds of chains and ropes. I either hit the ground no matter how much I shortened it, or it wouldn't stay tied. I tried from a rafter in a 40 tall shop. No luck. So I'm holding onto a poison that I've been brewing that is more deadly than cyanide. The reason I haven't drank it yet is because it takes a long time for it to be ready. Like years. I have other methods that should work, but I've seen what happens when that goes wrong.

No no..... It's making me anxious and nervous as well as hanging is the only option I have