Venting Life’s Juxtaposition

[Acopia]

Friends,

I am that person in the group, the "class clown" if you will. I'm very happy go lucky, I'm the one to make everyone laugh, I fiercely defend the people around me. Nothing ever gets me down, stress doesn't effect me. I am the one for whom nothing goes wrong, and I find the entertainment in every situation, putting people at ease, making them comfortable.

But..

I am covered in self-harm scars, as I sit here I am bleeding and in pain. I wonder if everyone around me would be better off if I weren't here. Whilst I am laughing and joking with my colleagues, I am thinking about 101 ways to self-harm; when I can next do it; how I can next do it.

& yet, I will comfort anyone who needs it, I will tell you what a special person you are and why the world needs you.. yet I don't believe those who say it to me.

It's a crazy world,
A crazy life.

Peace & love,
Acopia

 

[FuneralCry]

You sound like a kind person. I'm sorry that you have to endure so much suffering, it is sad how so much pain exists in the world. I hope that you find relief from what you are going through.

 

[Acopia]