catdaddy2601
Member
- Aug 6, 2021
- 89
Hi guys ... I've been up and down this month, spoken to mental health about my depression and they upped my dose of quetiapine from 50mg to 100mg ... I do feel better however I still know that CTB is inevitable ...
My last attempt with CTB flopped because I don't think I was ready, I had it all planned out with GHB but I think the anxiety of not knowing how it would affect me before dying really freaked me out ...
Getting N seems like too much of a gamble in case my SI kicks in and it goes to waste, or if I get scammed. Plus, I live in the UK and don't know of anyone over here on this forum he whole been able to source it.
I'm thinking SN is the next best option at this point, I've read that posts on here and feel like it would be the most affordable least painful option. I just need to set a date... This week would have been ideal as I'm off work for a week but I've still got to go in for training and it doesn't seem right to do it right before Christmas... I know I have loved ones who it will really effect and I'm conscious of that.
I don't want to bore ppl with a sob story of my life, we're all damaged people here and it's not the Oppression Olympics ... At the end of the day, I feel like we've all made up our minds that CTB is the best way out for us to finally be at peace. I'm thinking early next year sounds like a good idea, I can put enough things in place, schedule emails, maybe schedule an email to the RSPCA to rescue my cats... They are pretty much the only reason I'm holding onto life, I love them so much :(
My last attempt with CTB flopped because I don't think I was ready, I had it all planned out with GHB but I think the anxiety of not knowing how it would affect me before dying really freaked me out ...
Getting N seems like too much of a gamble in case my SI kicks in and it goes to waste, or if I get scammed. Plus, I live in the UK and don't know of anyone over here on this forum he whole been able to source it.
I'm thinking SN is the next best option at this point, I've read that posts on here and feel like it would be the most affordable least painful option. I just need to set a date... This week would have been ideal as I'm off work for a week but I've still got to go in for training and it doesn't seem right to do it right before Christmas... I know I have loved ones who it will really effect and I'm conscious of that.
I don't want to bore ppl with a sob story of my life, we're all damaged people here and it's not the Oppression Olympics ... At the end of the day, I feel like we've all made up our minds that CTB is the best way out for us to finally be at peace. I'm thinking early next year sounds like a good idea, I can put enough things in place, schedule emails, maybe schedule an email to the RSPCA to rescue my cats... They are pretty much the only reason I'm holding onto life, I love them so much :(
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