Venting Just a useless burden

[hopelessness]

I'm only really here because of my family and that tiny speck of me that is scared of death. That little bit that clings on for some reason.

I feel like all am to family at this point is a useless burden. All I do is hurt them or disappoint them. I can't help but feel like a mistake. Some massive joke or something. Whatever I am I know I'm a failure of a person a pathetic excuse for one, a waste of space for sure.

I wasn't meant to be here, I feel that in my bones.

Yet people say "it will get better" or "what about your family". Can't I be selfish and say but what about me. I'm tired of living like this and a part of me knows they would ultimately be better off without me. And then the cycle continues I feel guilty for feeling and thinking this way it makes me want to die more.

I really don't know what to do. I'm scared of the future. To be honest I see no future. I see no point in life. I have no interest in anything. I have no goals, I know I will achieve nothing so what is the point in me being here. I just get up and want to fall back asleep again. I don't feel like myself. It is like I am in a waking dream everything feels surreal and slightly out of touch.

I don't feel in control.

I just don't want to be here.

Sorry I know I've rambled on I just needed to get some stuff out it's too much to have this going around my head on my own.

Anyway does anyone else feel like way?

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand how you feel, I want nothing to do with life and I am not meant for this world. I have so much dread for the future, for me things can only get worse. I do not enjoy anything. There is nothing selfish about suicide, we all have the right to exit at a time of our own choosing, it is a personal decision. I'm sorry you are going through this, I understand that it is hard to carry on when you are suffering so much. I wish you the best.

 

[Smart No More]

You're in a bad place. I feel for you!

Have you gone through any treatment at all? Is it something you're open too?

I think you explained yourself well. Trust me, that's not rambling. Some of my private messages are probably many times the size of your post and only say half of what you managed to convey.

I know what hopelessness feels like. I've been lucky to have avoided mental health issues my life however I'm really unwell now and in that respect I relate to the way you're feeling.

 

[hopelessness]

You're in a bad place. I feel for you!

Have you gone through any treatment at all? Is it something you're open too?

I think you explained yourself well. Trust me, that's not rambling. Some of my private messages are probably many times the size of your post and only say half of what you managed to convey.

I know what hopelessness feels like. I've been lucky to have avoided mental health issues my life however I'm really unwell now and in that respect I relate to the way you're feeling.

Hi

Thanks for your reply.

I've gone through various treatments over the past decade. Both medications and therapies. Nothing seems to have worked or it does for the briefest while and then stops.

I'm truly sorry you can sympathise with my post. Hopelessness is a terrible and lonely feeling. I hope things get better for you.

 

[tieiwi]

My heart goes out to you. I relate to you a lot and I know how much it hurts. I feel like I wasn't meant for much. Whenever I try to imagine my future all I see is black. I know that my life won't amount to much… Whatever your choice is it will always be valid. Please don't let anyone try to guilt trip you, your feelings are valid. I wish you peace.

 

[hopelessness]

My heart goes out to you. I relate to you a lot and I know how much it hurts. I feel like I wasn't meant for much. Whenever I try to imagine my future all I see is black. I know that my life won't amount to much… Whatever your choice is it will always be valid. Please don't let anyone try to guilt trip you, your feelings are valid. I wish you peace.

I'm truly sorry you can relate.

 

[Smart No More]

Hi

Thanks for your reply.

I've gone through various treatments over the past decade. Both medications and therapies. Nothing seems to have worked or it does for the briefest while and then stops.

I'm truly sorry you can sympathise with my post. Hopelessness is a terrible and lonely feeling. I hope things get better for you.

Thanks. Things aren't likely to improve for me. I was just hoping to offer some solace in the knowledge that someone can relate to you. It sucka that you're not responsive to treatments. I think it's fair to say that psychiatry is really a pretty limited in its range so I don't think you should beat yourself over this. Not that it helps much but it's one less thing to feel bad about.