My life has been good! I've had a great life. Lots of sex, friends, girlfriends. Parties. A lot of good times. But every day I always thought of suicide.
I would tell myself anything to convince me not to kill myself. For years it was the fact that if I kill my self my mom will too. But eventually I got over that. Another thing was I'll hold off until I'm thirty. But the pain grows in my chest more and more every day.
I've been on depression meds as many of you probably have but I've also gotten a treatment you guys probably haven't.
I've gotten electro convulsive therapy before.
It was good! It made me happy. It made it easier to deal with my thoughts but they will never leave. I met good people and it was very fun when they put me to sleep.
I definitely suggest if you guys are able and want to be treated talk to a psychiatrist about ECT
It had its moments. But I'm here where I'm at now. This pain is so difficult and I just want to be able to talk about it with my girlfriend or mom. And I have talked to them but they want to stop me. I can't talk to them about it. It hurts them. And it's so selfish and foolish to think that they'll support me in my quest to die.
I can't believe there's people out there who just. Don't want to kill themselves, every day?!?! How do those people exist.
Everything in my life is fixable. And I'm young. Everyone keeps telling me that. But these thoughts and feelings and this pain will never go away. It'll get easier to deal with but they'll never go away. I have no drive to be alive. I'm worn out. These thoughts are boring
I would tell myself anything to convince me not to kill myself. For years it was the fact that if I kill my self my mom will too. But eventually I got over that. Another thing was I'll hold off until I'm thirty. But the pain grows in my chest more and more every day.
I've been on depression meds as many of you probably have but I've also gotten a treatment you guys probably haven't.
I've gotten electro convulsive therapy before.
It was good! It made me happy. It made it easier to deal with my thoughts but they will never leave. I met good people and it was very fun when they put me to sleep.
I definitely suggest if you guys are able and want to be treated talk to a psychiatrist about ECT
It had its moments. But I'm here where I'm at now. This pain is so difficult and I just want to be able to talk about it with my girlfriend or mom. And I have talked to them but they want to stop me. I can't talk to them about it. It hurts them. And it's so selfish and foolish to think that they'll support me in my quest to die.
I can't believe there's people out there who just. Don't want to kill themselves, every day?!?! How do those people exist.
Everything in my life is fixable. And I'm young. Everyone keeps telling me that. But these thoughts and feelings and this pain will never go away. It'll get easier to deal with but they'll never go away. I have no drive to be alive. I'm worn out. These thoughts are boring
