It’s starting again and I’m so scared.

[Grandexit]

The black dog is after me again. It was hell being In bed for those months, barely able to go shower. I evacuated back in March. Went to my parents. Staying in their empty condo. The darkness is coming back, I wouldn't be able to go through that again. I brought my sn kit with me. I won't go back into that hellish dark tunnel again.

 

[KiraComplex]

The black dog is after me again. It was hell being In bed for those months, barely able to go shower. I evacuated back in March. Went to my parents. Staying in their empty condo. The darkness is coming back, I wouldn't be able to go through that again. I brought my sn kit with me. I won't go back into that hellish dark tunnel again.

do you mind explaining a little bit more? i think i know what youre going through.

 

[Grandexit]

I guess I had a major depressive episode for a long time in 2019/2020. Was preparing to check out on 2/20/2020. Postponed it for a bit, then everything started going to shit in March. I was able to pull it together and cross the country to be with my family. The depression is coming back strong these last few days. I won't go through that again. It was the most horrible experience. No therapists/ helplines/ pills ever made a bit of difference. I can't go through it again, I won't.

 

[Deleted member 14386]

Is the plan soon? Just it's a hectic time rn, it might be better waiting the covid thing out? Just my opinion, disregard if you want/need

 

[Mustkeyknow]

I know exactly how you feel. I know what it's like when the dog is chasing you and there's no amount of therapy or meds that'll work. I feel your pain, I hope you come out successful again. You already beat it once, you can do it again.

 

[Grandexit]

I know exactly how you feel. I know what it's like when the dog is chasing you and there's no amount of therapy or meds that'll work. I feel your pain, I hope you come out successful again. You already beat it once, you can do it again.

the beach is right there. It's calling to me to just walk in. Just go for a walk in the dark and all of it will be over. Just walk in.

 

[Deleted member 14386]

Get a dingy at least! (sorry trying to keep it light)

 

[Mustkeyknow]

the beach is right there. It's calling to me to just walk in. Just go for a walk in the dark and all of it will be over. Just walk in.

Drowning is very painful. I don't mean to pry but why don't you sleep it off? Tomorrow is going to be a brand new day. Just keep fighting, you got this.

 

[Deleted member 14386]

It will likely not be over. I am sorry you are feeling this way but please think about the method for a bit. Again idk what I'm saying, but it sounds like a bad idea

 

[Deleted member 17949]

Sorry you're going through this. It really does suck feeling the bad feels creeping back into your head and not being able to stop them.

 

[Pan]

According to what I have read, drowning is not painful; in fact, it appears to be euphoric.

 

[BitterlyAlive]

I'm just commenting to say you're not alone. I'm sorry you have to deal with depression too. It hurts so bad.

I hope you feel at peace with whatever you choose to do.

 

[lifeisbutadream]

Gods watch over you, dear Grandexit!

 

[Pan]

You have a great deal of courage, grandexit. I wake up, and find myself in the grip of an anxiety attack.