Venting It'll turn me into a psychopath given enough time.

[KleinerWolf]

My life isn't normal.
It's sad, dysfunctional, degrading and weird.

On top of that there's constant futility and disgust.
I wouldn't even know how to make sense of my life no more.

I am so desperately eager to flee this twisted dysfunctional "life" of mine.

My life is a choreograph for the making of a psychopath.
It needs to end before I lose control how I react to it.

Spoiler: It messes with the brain.

 

[Amumu]

Depression makes us cynical, and being cynical makes us feel ruthless.
But it's just an impression. At the end of the day, we're just broken people, not psychopaths.

 

[Wrennie]

There's only so much that the human mind can take before it distorts from the pressure. Condemned to living in this Hell each and every day... I honestly can't say that I'd blame you.

 

[NodusTollens]

After reading about psychology, watching different shows/docs about mental health, violence, my own personal experiences with self-hate/rage, etc., I can understand where you're coming from.
—hugs—

When you're in a certain state, it doesn't take much for self-hate/anger to become rage towards something else. People "snap" for a reason.

What you're going through is stressful & disheartening, & I can't imagine how this experience is affecting your ability to function. You're a step ahead of the game, in the sense that you're aware of how your feelings are effecting you, though I wish there were a way to solve this issue for you.

Hang in there, whatever you decide you have SS here to offer support.

 

[summers]

@StrokeMyEgoBaby if you feel this way, you are probably already a sociopath and/or psychopath, but just haven't acted on it yet (or substantially acted on it). Maybe you should look into getting professional help before you hurt someone.

This isn't in jest, we have spoken before. I'm genuinely concerned :(

 

[KleinerWolf]

@StrokeMyEgoBaby if you feel this way, you are probably already a sociopath and/or psychopath, but just haven't acted on it yet (or substantially acted on it). Maybe you should look into getting professional help before you hurt someone.

This isn't in jest, we have spoken before. I'm genuinely concerned :(

Yeah only a little bit.
I'm very dramatic after all.

It's fine.
I'll have killed myself before end up in a deep stage of rage.
Things I simply do not have access to that keep me trapped.

 

[sadbadpsychogirl]

sometimes psychopaths are just broken people too. also not all of us are ticking time bombs

 

[TheSomebody]

My life has always been like that too and my sanity has been decreasing more and more.
Eventually, we end up corrupting ourselves to our environment and we become part of it.

 

[Noriv159]

I share your sentiments. I wish I could do something to free you from that cage of a life. I use to be bitter when I had a grandiose ego and a pronounced sense of self importance believing I deserved better than what I get from life and I miss that outlook after having had my self esteem completely obliterated. Now all I think is I'm worth shit. I wish I was a psychopath.