Is tonight the night?

[bluedodger]

I've been contemplating suicide for over 2 years. Haven't had the courage to do it because of my 3 kids. But tonight my wife and I had some glasses of wine and she finally with tears told me she and kids would be "better without me". I don't have a plan nor have I looked into how to do it… but I think tonight is the perfect night to "go away".

 

[ClaudeKersey]

I'm sorry to hear that, it was really harsh coming from your wife.

 

[whywere]

I dislike ever giving out my thoughts on situations of this nature, BUT you are a very valuable soul here on Sanctioned Suicide and well where it goes. 1) I will admit I know nothing about your situation, and yes some might say that I am just flapping my lips and/or sticking my nose where it does not belong, but we are family here and helping people out is a cornerstone for/about me. 2) drinking alcohol is always a motivator that seems to help engage the mind and a lot of the times makes matters worse than they are.
3) You have 3 wonderful children, and I can bet 99.9% that they want to have you around and vice versa as being able to see them grow into adulthood and prosper. 4) there are so many variables and options that having a clear head (no alcohol involved) and looking at your children is your future. (Always close one's eyes to see the future), it must be envisioned by one's mind not eyes. 5) maybe some form of talk therapy with your wife and also a long walk and watch the sunrise and/or sunset together with your 3 children

If you read about me on here, 2 attempts, no family nor friends, except everyone here! kicked out by my parents at 18 and never heard from them again ever, their choice 100%, brother and sister who I have not seen nor heard from since 1990, the list goes on. I, like so many here, have had tremendous heart ache and after the 2nd attempt, I told myself that I was going to dedicate my spare time helping others.

Sending you lots of huge hugs, well wishes, the knowledge that you are cared about here by me and I bet plenty of others and have a better rest of this week and a great upcoming weekend.

You mean a lot to me; I wear my heart on my sleeve.

Walter

 

[bluedodger]

Th

I dislike ever giving out my thoughts on situations of this nature, BUT you are a very valuable soul here on Sanctioned Suicide and well where it goes. 1) I will admit I know nothing about your situation, and yes some might say that I am just flapping my lips and/or sticking my nose where it does not belong, but we are family here and helping people out is a cornerstone for/about me. 2) drinking alcohol is always a motivator that seems to help engage the mind and a lot of the times makes matters worse than they are.
3) You have 3 wonderful children, and I can bet 99.9% that they want to have you around and vice versa as being able to see them grow into adulthood and prosper. 4) there are so many variables and options that having a clear head (no alcohol involved) and looking at your children is your future. (Always close one's eyes to see the future), it must be envisioned by one's mind not eyes. 5) maybe some form of talk therapy with your wife and also a long walk and watch the sunrise and/or sunset together with your 3 children

If you read about me on here, 2 attempts, no family nor friends, except everyone here! kicked out by my parents at 18 and never heard from them again ever, their choice 100%, brother and sister who I have not seen nor heard from since 1990, the list goes on. I, like so many here, have had tremendous heart ache and after the 2nd attempt, I told myself that I was going to dedicate my spare time helping others.

Sending you lots of huge hugs, well wishes, the knowledge that you are cared about here by me and I bet plenty of others and have a better rest of this week and a great upcoming weekend.

You mean a lot to me; I wear my heart on my sleeve.

Walter

Thank you Walter for trying to be supportive and positive. Can't blame you for trying. But honestly you very kind word are empty. The hardest thing about mental health and Suicide is that others can't really feel or understand what you feel and see.

I sit in my living room, looking for the courage to get it over it.

 

[Tackingintothewind]

The hardest thing about mental health and Suicide is that others can't really feel or understand what you feel and see

Isn't that why we join this website.... to help each other and find those who do understand.
I was told by my mother plenty of times how she'd be better off if I had never been born, and I'd want to kill myself there and then. But such times are actually the worst times to do it. Because those statements have upset you negative. You're not thinking calmly and rationally. To ctb you really should be doing this because a) this could be the last choice you will ever make, b) you might mess it up because of your emotional state and c) your wife might not have meant it. We all say horrific things when we have had a bad day that we dont mean. D) if you do it in your living room at home you could severely traumatize your children and devalue your family's assets.

Please think on these things before you do anything and try to consider your wife's state of mind when she said this.

 

[FuneralCry]

I'm sorry you are in this situation. I know that this life can be unbearable when you are suffering so much. I wish you the best in whatever happens.

 

[Foresight]

Your kids are not better off with a father dead of suicide and a mother with regrets that big. You have to consider that. That's all I'm saying. Her drunk words shouldn't have the last say, especially with children who need you involved.