Venting Is there a reason why people don’t take my mental health seriously, yet they seem to take other people’s seriously?!

[BlueButterfly111]

Sometimes it feels like I'm just spiritually cursed, or maybe because other people just don't like me? It's weird. Like when I first told my mom that I was depressed in high school it was like she took personal offense to it like I literally stabbed her or something? She literally stopped talking to me for a week, and tbh never really acted the same towards me after that, and this was years ago. Also the last time I brought up depression, which is rare, she got really angry, so I just stopped talking about my feelings to her altogether.

Also it seems like whenever I vent on my personal social media platforms or to people that I know irl, which was rare, people just ignored me or gave me like blank stares.

I also remember explaining to my mom about how I found out that my boyfriend who passed away, used to be suicidal because I found his old social media accounts where he used to write about it. She said that it was probably because of his mental health issues, which I agreed with her about. But then when I told her that I have felt the same way in the past, she gave me a confused look and said, "why?" So I'm not aloud to feel depressed apparently but other people are?!

This also has happened with other people who I thought cared about me. One person who I thought was my friend started treating me weird after I vented one time on social media. She also kept on asking me a bunch of "why" questions like she was trying to get some kind of different answer out of me other than that I was just depressed. Another person who I've known for a really long time, and who has known the full extent of what I've gone through in my life proceeded to block me not too long ago. All I did was vent one time about feeling sad because my boyfriend passed away…

I don't know, I just feel really alone in life. That's why I miss my boyfriend who passed away so much because I feel like he was the only person who genuinely cared about me and my feelings. I remember seeing posts on social media after he passed away about how his family misses him so much. I can't help but feel like that will never happen when I pass away. I guess I'm just unlikeable.

I just feel really sad, I really need someone but I have nowhere else to turn to. I'm currently waiting to see if I can get insurance this month so I can try going to therapy and getting some help. Honestly, at this point I wouldn't be surprised if the therapist laughed in my face and didn't take me seriously. I'm trying to be positive about the new year, but if it doesn't get better by November I will probably give up because I don't know what else to do. It's really hard, I just want a job and a stable life.

 

[Forever Sleep]

It's really sad to say but, sometimes I think people simply get bored of it. If the intensity to it remains high too: 'I feel worse than I ever have' over a prolongued period- it's like that children's story: 'The Boy Who Cried Wolf'. People simply start to ignore it.

I suppose it's compassion fatigue sometimes too. If we are lucky enough to have empathetic people around us- it's going to be upsetting for them to acknowledge we are unhappy so much. I have a reasonable amount of empathy and truthfully- I struggled to cope with a friend who was always venting for a while. Because it felt too much to worry about- both their problems and mine. For people who are able to take on another's emotions- it can become too much- if we're struggling too. So- we may just avoid those who we feel like we can't support.

Some people with probably quite serious conditions do sometimes still have friends but, I wonder if it's because they are better at masking or, they are very up and down. I know people who are very entertaining to be around during the periods they are more 'up' and they sometimes seem to hide themselves away for the periods they're not. Sadly, I suppose relationships are often reciprocal- people often want something back.

I think sometimes the more depressed of us attract similarly unhappy people and we can be there for one another to vent to. But, we probably have to be interested and invested enough in each other's lives to do that.

It doesn't surprise me your Mum was seemingly unbothered. I think parents can sometimes take it personally when their children claim to have something psychologically wrong with them, because- what does it reflect about our upbringing and their parenting?

I don't know whether your Mum has struggled in life but I think that can be another aspect. That if they struggled with no diagnosis, no lenience and no sympathy, they maybe don't see why we are so uniquely troubled and deserving of it. A friend's parent responded to them- 'Yeah well- everyone's depressed. You, me, the cat.' I think there's almost an envy there that, why should we be wrapped up in cotton wool- when they weren't.

I've noticed that too though. Parents being more interested in a friend's problem. I think for one- it's different. A change from hearing our problems. Plus, they can freely throw around blane without any of it landing on them.