Is anyone else disgusted by being comforted?

[KirbyLover]

Idk maybe it's just trauma but all i've ever wished for is to be taken care of but whenever someone tries to I just feel so wrong, like i'm disgusting or something. I just don't understand how a person who wants comfort refuses to accept it.(this is just me failing to understand myself)

 

[ConfusedClouds]

I don't know its the same but I definitely crave comforting but then if anything comes close I massively push it away feeling like its fake to just humour me and/or me just being unnecessarily needy and a massive burden.

 

[KirbyLover]

I don't know its the same but I definitely crave comforting but then if anything comes close I massively push it away feeling like its fake to just humour me and/or me just being unnecessarily needy and a massive burden.

100% - odd how the brain works, it's like a self-fulfilling prophecy.

 

[Another Path]

It is natural to crave support when we aren't well, as we are highly social creatures. In nature, you are dead without a tribe, so your brain has evolved to avoid this condition. At the same time, when someone does support us, it can indicate that we are in need of support and not strong and independent. We often adopt the perspective of an outside observer and judge ourselves, and for many people (me included) this outside observer can be corrupt and overly cruel.
When I receive support from family members I often get the intuition that I am being weak, dependent, a burden, pathetic, etc. .
Ironically, I would of course NEVER judge anyone like this. This also highlights the difference between you and your inner judge.

Do you think this might be similar for you?

I wish you all less suffering! I feel you all! ♥

 

[KirbyLover]

It is natural to crave support when we aren't well, as we are highly social creatures. In nature, you are dead without a tribe, so your brain has evolved to avoid this condition. At the same time, when someone does support us, it can indicate that we are in need of support and not strong and independent. We often adopt the perspective of an outside observer and judge ourselves, and for many people (me included) this outside observer can be corrupt and overly cruel.
When I receive support from family members I often get the intuition that I am being weak, dependent, a burden, pathetic, etc. .
Ironically, I would of course NEVER judge anyone like this. This also highlights the difference between you and your inner judge.

Do you think this might be similar for you?

I wish you all less suffering! I feel you all! ♥

It's so heartbreaking that all we want is support but are too conditioned into thinking it's weak that we aren't able to accept it :(
Wishing you the best <3

 

[BRAINWORMS]

I feel so much disgust towards myself and absolute shame when people comfort me. It feels beautiful and affirming in the moment, but I don't feel worthy of it and end up feeling like even more of an overly needy burden after.

 

[thankyouforthis]

I don't know its the same but I definitely crave comforting but then if anything comes close I massively push it away feeling like its fake to just humour me and/or me just being unnecessarily needy and a massive burden.

I feel this. Sometimes we just feel that way because we feel that way; other times, people who offer help/comfort/whatever will later make you feel this way, maybe even SAY to you "you are a burden," "you are needy" etc. Which makes seeking said help/comfort/whatever again extremely scary. At least when you're alone, only you can hurt you.

 

[JesiBel]

Personally, no. My family isn't good at expressing emotions or affection through physical contact, such as a hug, a kiss, a pat on the back...

I enjoy receiving that kind of interaction, even though it feels strange since I'm not used to it.

 

[yxmux]

I guess disgusted with myself in the sense that I don't like people impressing on my personality and especially my body because it feels too suffocating and forces me to integrate a more intimate awareness of myself and my surroundings that I cannot identify with, and I find this very burdening.

With regard to others though, I'd say I'm more annoyed and uncomfortable with them.

 

[IFrequentSaSu]

I don't know its the same but I definitely crave comforting but then if anything comes close I massively push it away feeling like its fake to just humour me and/or me just being unnecessarily needy and a massive burden.

I understand this is exactly how I feel sometimes I wish I didn't feel this way. It feels nice for me to be comforted like I matter but at the same time I don't want it and I don't want to matter it just feels like they say those things out of pity because they know I have problems.

 

[Atmosphere]

I genuinely feel like most people just try to comfort me so that they can get dirt on me to eventually just put me down in the future when it can be used as leverage against me.

 

[badatparties]

I genuinely feel like most people just try to comfort me so that they can get dirt on me to eventually just put me down in the future when it can be used as leverage against me.

Honestly fuck confiding in people. If i need to i will go talk to a professional because at least they are bound by law to keep it a secret and could possibly help you using different modalities.

Being needy and trauma dumping on strangers doesn't help you or anyone else.

 

[ConfusedClouds]

Honestly fuck confiding in people. If i need to i will go talk to a professional because at least they are bound by law to keep it a secret and could possibly help you using different modalities.

Being needy and trauma dumping on strangers doesn't help you or anyone else.

Confiding in a professional yields the same result for me - but at least I can try force myself to 'keep going back' and not push away because they don't/can't actually care - boundaries - its a business reason they try comforting me (with supportive or understanding words). But even this causes me to desperately want to run and push my therapist away.

 

[oneirataxia]

I can't help but see comfort as fake and opportunistic, as if the only reason anyone would ever try and be kind to me is in pursuit of self interest.

 

[Pluto]

 

[belowaveragefish]

I never let anyone know how I really feel, so I don't have to worry about people comforting me. That being said, I actually used to really love being comforted. It was a way for me to feel a rare moment of happiness, but as with most things in life, that lost its novelty years ago.

 

[cemeteryismyhome]

Same here. I want to be comforted, not in one direction toward me only, but in a mutually comforting relationship. Many years ago I came to realization that's simply not going to happen. I'm like a sick vicious dog who craves love but attacks anyone who gets too close.

 

[mossmoth]

i have the exact same thing. i want to be comforted uncondiotionally by a parent 24/7. but anytime im comforted by anymore i don't feel like i deserve it, or it feels conditional.

 

[FoxSauce]

Moslty for me it feels weird and I haven't got used to the fact.

Like once my therapist asked me if I use the dbt coping skills instead of cutting she gave me a high five which it wasn't that big of a deal to me but im glad she was happy?

Also being told by my mom that I'm so mature and responsible?

 

[always_sad]

Yes, the exact same experience.
Being comforted always makes me disgusted and angry