Impulsive suicide

[nihilism44]

Hey, it's been a while again. I am in the worst place mentally I have ever been. I have been lurking here daily, just had absolutely no motivation to post or respond to anything. I had a panic attack and almost impulsively ingested something stupid. I have always been set on something at least semi-painless, such as SN, so I don't know where this urge came from. I think I wanted to punish myself. It would have been insanely painful and I would have instantly regretted it but I came so close. I probably would have been found quickly and failed too. I'm scared of myself right now. I feel like I could lose my shit and do something really fucking stupid any second. I'm really really scared. It has never been this bad.

 

[Mr. Incapable]

Sorry to hear you're struggling so much recently. I really understand as I have, too. I think the general consensus amongst SaSu members is impulsive suicides aren't the best idea. It poses too many risks of causing serious, non fatal injuries depending on the method or, as you said, being found too early.. impulsive acts usually aren't properly thought out or planned well so can lead to failure and worsening your situation and mental health.

I think the best thing you can do right now is take some deep breaths and do something to distract yourself. Have you eaten today? Maybe you can put on some music and prepare a meal. If you need some fresh air, perhaps go for a walk or sit in your garden for a little while. As fast as the days seem, my world feels like it's falling apart at super speed, but there's no rush.. take your time to regroup, balance your mind and make more rational decisions. None of us on here want to see each other hurt or die.. we just want each other to be at peace from their suffering, whether they find that peace in life somewhere and somehow, or if they make a more permanent decision.. either way, impulsive acts aren't the right way to do things, in my opinion..

I hope you feel better soon

 

[FuneralCry]

I'm sorry that you suffer so unbearably. I can imagine that it must be really hard what you are going through and of course it is best to not attempt when the method will just fail and cause more harm than there already is. I know that it is so awful when things just get worse and it is such an unfair life. It is sad how people suffer so much in this life. I hope that you find relief from what you are going through.