Help Trying NOT to CTB

[hymnsofthesea]

Hey, I posted a thread earlier, I don't remember exactly when or how many hours ago, if it was this morning or last night, or two days ago (?). Maybe it's the nicotine in my head. Anyways, I can't CTB. Religious guilt, fear, paranoia, and whatever else. But, I'm scared that if I don't do something, anything, I might impulsively CTB without thinking it through.
I'm not asking for any encouragement or anything, I just want to know if there's a way that I can not CTB but just maybe get in the hospital or get sick, so I can heal properly after that and think it through if I really want CTB to be my last resort. Again, this is because I don't want to end up impulsively CTB'ing and dying with regrets. I'm sorry if my words or language came out wrong, English is not my first language.

 

[EmptyBottle]

Hi, welcome (I sadly don't notice most threads, just some of the most recent ones, when I check... as well as further replies to threads coz I have my notifications on)

There are still non-CTB options, from walking north/south/etc (and roaming the neighbourhood for hours upon hours) to other forms of escape (a literal bus/train adventure, assuming public transport is practical).

As well as peer to peer therapy options, guided meditation, etc

 

[brokenhands]

hello, before I start this I want to say that I live in a country with cheap healthcare, so if you or whoever reading this worry about hospital bills - my reply may not be for you

with that said I'd say that getting sick or going to the hospital are really nice to decompress and forget about the outside world for a while. hospitals always brought peace to me, so I frequently gotten sick on purpose to just have a moment to myself there.
starting with the obvious - getting a suicide hold in an ER. done this a couple of times when I wasn't entirely sure about CTB, but the thoughts in my head here loud as ever.
ideally you need to stage that you are trying to attempt, for example go stand on a bridge or something like this, then have your friend call an ambulance for you, sounding all distressed and convinced that you want to do it. guarantees a stay. if you don't have a friend you can also call yourself, I imagine this to be harder, but... you have to do what you have to do if you want to get that ER visit. you can lie and say that you are certain you want to do it, but only for that if you are content either way the possibility of being sent to the psych. some people hate it, some like me find it to be an escape. because even with all the shit that goes down there - it still feels better than my daily life.

if you don't want to go to the psych, but rather a regular hospital... I have less ideas for that. those I do sound really damaging and maybe only get you an overnight stay or something like that.

if you are content with staying home I have an alternative that I am doing righ now (staying home on a sick leave because of that) - you could break or injure your tendon, this got me a 7 day sick leave, meaning I get to stay home and let it heal. the injury is not that bad, so it's the best I can give without going into something more damaging. but if you want to - I can give more ideas

again te sick leave and hospitalization experiences are based on where I live, don't take it as absolute truth or as the definite outcome of the situation... healthcare is different everywhere

 

[EmptyBottle]

hello, before I start this I want to say that I live in a country with cheap healthcare, so if you or whoever reading this worry about hospital bills - my reply may not be for you

with that said I'd say that getting sick or going to the hospital are really nice to decompress and forget about the outside world for a while. hospitals always brought peace to me, so I frequently gotten sick on purpose to just have a moment to myself there.
starting with the obvious - getting a suicide hold in an ER. done this a couple of times when I wasn't entirely sure about CTB, but the thoughts in my head here loud as ever.
ideally you need to stage that you are trying to attempt, for example go stand on a bridge or something like this, then have your friend call an ambulance for you, sounding all distressed and convinced that you want to do it. guarantees a stay. if you don't have a friend you can also call yourself, I imagine this to be harder, but... you have to do what you have to do if you want to get that ER visit. you can lie and say that you are certain you want to do it, but only for that if you are content either way the possibility of being sent to the psych. some people hate it, some like me find it to be an escape. because even with all the shit that goes down there - it still feels better than my daily life.

For ward admission, it might not even be needed to stage an attempt, just request for a 24-72 hour hold for safety... tho researching the local ward conditions is important before seeking admission.

if you don't want to go to the psych, but rather a regular hospital... I have less ideas for that. those I do sound really damaging and maybe only get you an overnight stay or something like that.

if you are content with staying home I have an alternative that I am doing righ now (staying home on a sick leave because of that) - you could break or injure your tendon, this got me a 7 day sick leave, meaning I get to stay home and let it heal. the injury is not that bad, so it's the best I can give without going into something more damaging. but if you want to - I can give more ideas

again te sick leave and hospitalization experiences are based on where I live, don't take it as absolute truth or as the definite outcome of the situation... healthcare is different everywhere

Indeed, healthcare varies. Also, instead of causing injury, one could probably report symptoms that don't exist, since that is less harmful.

 

[brokenhands]

For ward admission, it might not even be needed to stage an attempt, just request for a 24-72 hour hold for safety... tho researching the local ward conditions is important before seeking admission.

Indeed, healthcare varies. Also, instead of causing injury, one could probably report symptoms that don't exist, since that is less harmful

that's true, if you can do that - that's the best way to go about it. thank you for reminding me that it doesn't have to be that complicated.
it's just that again, coming from my experience in my area, doctors didn't take me seriously untill I looked like I was terribly unwell. thinking of it, maybe it can be usefull for someone in a similar situation?
either way, you are right, I OP gets the help without having to stage anything

could probably report symptoms that don't exist

you have to be careful with this one, you may get sent to do tests you don't need (and have to pay for...), never fake severe symptoms or fake them in an actual hospital where they can administer you medication that you, in actuality, don't need. this can turn south easily, so just take care in this. I once decided to go the route of faking and they thought my appendix was inflamed, that was a whole shitshow

 

[EmptyBottle]

that's true, if you can do that - that's the best way to go about it. thank you for reminding me that it doesn't have to be that complicated.
it's just that again, coming from my experience in my area, doctors didn't take me seriously untill I looked like I was terribly unwell. thinking of it, maybe it can be usefull for someone in a similar situation?
either way, you are right, I OP gets the help without having to stage anything

Tks

you have to be careful with this one, you may get sent to do tests you don't need (and have to pay for...), never fake severe symptoms or fake them in an actual hospital where they can administer you medication that you, in actuality, don't need. this can turn south easily, so just take care in this. I once decided to go the route of faking and they thought my appendix was inflamed, that was a whole shitshow

Indeed, nothing too severe, just simple stuff like aches and pains...

Or even better, one could honestly state that they want to be scanned for certain diseases, and get scans that may speed up treatment of diseases one doesn't realise they have. (without ur mention of tests... I forgot about requesting tests to prevent disease)

 

[brokenhands]

Or even better, one could honestly state that they want to be scanned for certain diseases, and get scans that may speed up treatment of diseases one doesn't realise they have.

that's a nice thought - if anyone planning that has the means to get those tests and scans they should definitely go for that. unfortunately tests for prevention sake and not for treatment usually cost wayyy more

 

[hymnsofthesea]

hello, before I start this I want to say that I live in a country with cheap healthcare, so if you or whoever reading this worry about hospital bills - my reply may not be for you

with that said I'd say that getting sick or going to the hospital are really nice to decompress and forget about the outside world for a while. hospitals always brought peace to me, so I frequently gotten sick on purpose to just have a moment to myself there.
starting with the obvious - getting a suicide hold in an ER. done this a couple of times when I wasn't entirely sure about CTB, but the thoughts in my head here loud as ever.
ideally you need to stage that you are trying to attempt, for example go stand on a bridge or something like this, then have your friend call an ambulance for you, sounding all distressed and convinced that you want to do it. guarantees a stay. if you don't have a friend you can also call yourself, I imagine this to be harder, but... you have to do what you have to do if you want to get that ER visit. you can lie and say that you are certain you want to do it, but only for that if you are content either way the possibility of being sent to the psych. some people hate it, some like me find it to be an escape. because even with all the shit that goes down there - it still feels better than my daily life.

if you don't want to go to the psych, but rather a regular hospital... I have less ideas for that. those I do sound really damaging and maybe only get you an overnight stay or something like that.

if you are content with staying home I have an alternative that I am doing righ now (staying home on a sick leave because of that) - you could break or injure your tendon, this got me a 7 day sick leave, meaning I get to stay home and let it heal. the injury is not that bad, so it's the best I can give without going into something more damaging. but if you want to - I can give more ideas

again te sick leave and hospitalization experiences are based on where I live, don't take it as absolute truth or as the definite outcome of the situation... healthcare is different everywhere

This is so helpful and was definitely the type of answer I wanted. Healthcare here where I live, it is definitely not as expensive as some countries. My main desire is just to be able to wind off and recollect myself in a hospital environment. I'm similar to you! Hospitals bring me peace too. If you're open to more ideas, I'd love to hear. This was such a useful reply. Again, thank you. You're helping save a life.

 

[brokenhands]

This is so helpful and was definitely the type of answer I wanted. Healthcare here where I live, it is definitely not as expensive as some countries. My main desire is just to be able to wind off and recollect myself in a hospital environment. I'm similar to you! Hospitals bring me peace too. If you're open to more ideas, I'd love to hear. This was such a useful reply. Again, thank you. You're helping save a life.

I'm glad I could help!
in general I would encourage you to seek an ER hold or hospitalization if your local mh isn't just straight up awful. also it's the most straightforward way to go about it, grtting to a hospital for other reasons requires more planning.
if you are employed right now you can try getting an "accidental" injury there, not only do you get time off work, but you also get money. just make sure that you don't endanger yourself too much.

honestly regular hospital stays are usually for more life threatening symptoms like respiratory failure, tough infections that require constant monitoring, and I definitely do not encourage you to try and give yourself an infection, that's painful and just straight up miserable sometimes. mh services can give you more time at the hospital and not expect you coming in with infections or anything, so you don't even have to pretend.
if you haven't had any experience with mental health related ER stays - before going on an ER hold watch some videos on what to expect there. as someone who got there unprepared for the first time - adjusting to rules there caused me some distress. not having my phone was definitely a tough one, since again, I had no idea on what to expect.

hospitals really feel like a different world where you can just switch off from reality for a bit... I hope you get your care and your hospital stay will be peaceful

 

[hymnsofthesea]

in general I would encourage you to seek an ER hold or hospitalization if your local mh isn't just straight up awful. also it's the most straightforward way to go about it, grtting to a hospital for other reasons requires more planning.
honestly regular hospital stays are usually for more life threatening symptoms like respiratory failure, tough infections that require constant monitoring, and I definitely do not encourage you to try and give yourself an infection, that's painful and just straight up miserable sometimes. mh services can give you more time at the hospital and not expect you coming in with infections or anything, so you don't even have to pretend.
if you haven't had any experience with mental health related ER stays - before going on an ER hold watch some videos on what to expect there. as someone who got there unprepared for the first time - adjusting to rules there caused me some distress. not having my phone was definitely a tough one, since again, I had no idea on what to expect.

Random, but, I think there's only one hospital or ward that is specifically for mental health here and it is HORRIBLE. Like, mainly for elderly and disabled people, and the facilities are in the worst condition. Just straight up negligent, broken and everything. I've went there once too for a consultation with a psychologist. Trust me, it was bad. I don't think they would send me there at all, because as I said, it's mainly elderly or severely disabled patients, but I'm still kinda scared about that. Other than that, you both genuinely gave really great advice that I was not at all expecting! I think I'll look into my options in a regular hospital more. If I try hard enough, I may be able to get in from a mental health basis but it's a gamble tbh

 

[brokenhands]

Random, but, I think there's only one hospital or ward that is specifically for mental health here and it is HORRIBLE. Like, mainly for elderly and disabled people, and the facilities are in the worst condition. Just straight up negligent, broken and everything. I've went there once too for a consultation with a psychologist. Trust me, it was bad. I don't think they would send me there at all, because as I said, it's mainly elderly or severely disabled patients, but I'm still kinda scared about that. Other than that, you both genuinely gave really great advice that I was not at all expecting! I think I'll look into my options in a regular hospital more. If I try hard enough, I may be able to get in from a mental health basis but it's a gamble tbh

I'm very sorry that the psych hospital is in that bad of a condition, heartbreaking how they treat patients :(
but again - wishing you luck in getting to a hospital! if you really are dead set on getting there with something serious (because well, it's your decision at the end of the day) - gi infection are relatively easy to get if you put your mind to it. eating lots of raw foods (especially eggs/meat) for example - don't even need to do much here