I really want to learn Latin but I think the language is too hard for me. I read at like 12 year old level and I've been learning the language for several years. I'll admit I don't put the time in consistently but I should still be further than I am with the time I've put in. I really want to learn language. It's kinda a dream of mine. My chess rating continues to drop. It use to be 1200 and now it's 600 for blitz. When I talk, there are a lot of pauses, I sound slow because I am slow. I know some of it is brain damage for reasons I've already listed in my other post but let's be honest I've never been that smart. I've always been a slow ass loser. I need to CTB and I think I might practice hanging myself tonight.
I'm deemed incompetent by the courts and all dignity has been taken away from me. My guardian is abusive and an alcoholic. I really have nothing to live for. I've had ECT 17 times. I wish I was making some of this up but this is my reality and my life would have been much better if I had killed myself as a teen or young adult. I'd at least have some dignity in dying and my reputation wouldn't be destroyed.
I'm deemed incompetent by the courts and all dignity has been taken away from me. My guardian is abusive and an alcoholic. I really have nothing to live for. I've had ECT 17 times. I wish I was making some of this up but this is my reality and my life would have been much better if I had killed myself as a teen or young adult. I'd at least have some dignity in dying and my reputation wouldn't be destroyed.
