Venting I'm not in New Year spirit.

[kuroshimi]

Another year is coming to an end.

Lost that feeling of anticipation a long time ago. And I think, the next year will be even worse. The world has long since gone mad and crazy. Also I'm quite different and feeling like I don't fit in and in the wrong place.

I would be very grateful if death came, but at the same time I had some hope left and don't want to upset my friends and family. However, I feel that things will not get better for me. I have suffered enough, as it if were a curse. I shouldn't be born in the first place.

I almost stopped spending times on my hobbies, doing nothing all day long. I can't bring myself to study programming, I am really not into it. I recently got into audio/sound topic and I really like it. Also planning to learn German in near future (possibly to move out?), but I don't think there's any point in this. I don't know what I actually want. Probably, some peace.

I am torn apart inside by my terrible past and uncertain future.

 

[unluckysadness]

You're not alone with this feeling. I hate New Year too, and a lot of people hate this period of the year.
I wish you peace

 

[jakelonely]

I am torn apart inside by my terrible past and uncertain future.

Me too

 

[orvreader]

For me, the new year especially feels awkward: existing between this year and next year, but is functionally from neither; an 'in-between'-er that is weirdly different from the things that it's supposed to be between. I, really, hate new year and how its general vibe is. So, I somewhat relate to you about the new year thing; not to mention losing motivation on programming and liking music (in my case, guitar) lol, which I relate a little bit too much. In any case, good luck in your future endeavours, whatever that might be

 

[sylphstye]

Same. And to be ending it in the exact same place I was last year, watching and listening to the same stuff to keep me hanging on, but this time I've lost more than I ever have because i decided to try when the year started, is very painful. Should have just left my body in 2024.

 

[kuroshimi]

For me, the new year especially feels awkward: existing between this year and next year, but is functionally from neither; an 'in-between'-er that is weirdly different from the things that it's supposed to be between. I, really, hate new year and how its general vibe is. So, I somewhat relate to you about the new year thing; not to mention losing motivation on programming and liking music (in my case, guitar) lol, which I relate a little bit too much. In any case, good luck in your future endeavours, whatever that might be

I think I was never passionate about programming, I just enrolled in a such major because I spent a lot of time on computer.

I not actually hate new year, but I perceive it as some kind of disappointment? Don't know.

Thanks, good luck to you too.

 

[catsalvation]

I feel the same way. Now everyone says that oh, next year will be so good etc, but don't they say this before all NYE?
I decided that if at the end of the next year my life won't be better, I'll CTB...
Oh, and I don't think I'll "celebrate". I would like to go to bed like 9 pm, the only problem is that I can't really sleep, but maybe I'll take some sedative just to not torture myself with stupid thoughts.

 

[calebzz1]

Another year is coming to an end.

Lost that feeling of anticipation a long time ago. And I think, the next year will be even worse. The world has long since gone mad and crazy. Also I'm quite different and feeling like I don't fit in and in the wrong place.

I would be very grateful if death came, but at the same time I had some hope left and don't want to upset my friends and family. However, I feel that things will not get better for me. I have suffered enough, as it if were a curse. I shouldn't be born in the first place.

I almost stopped spending times on my hobbies, doing nothing all day long. I can't bring myself to study programming, I am really not into it. I recently got into audio/sound topic and I really like it. Also planning to learn German in near future (possibly to move out?), but I don't think there's any point in this. I don't know what I actually want. Probably, some peace.

I am torn apart inside by my terrible past and uncertain future.

Hey, this post caught my eye the other day and I can definitely relate.

I'm sorry to hear that you feel this way, personally I will be going to bed early and sleeping through New Year's Eve since milestones are hard to swallow.

I still remember my mom asking what was wrong last New Year's Eve but I was disappointed about my overall situation life wise and I thought I would be able to go back to work.

I still can't believe my visual impairment issues have not improved hardly since May of last year and I am still facing temporary disability as a young man thanks to a lack of family support.

I'm an involuntary NEET and want to go back to work but simply cannot see well enough.

I also don't fit in and I'm slowly losing my relatibility with people the longer I deal with this as stable sight is needed for most of my old hobbies which connects you to others.

I don't like small talk and I am planning to live alone next year for sure as I would like my own space.

I found new hobbies such as listening to music, dancing and entering sweepstakes + giveaways but it is all filler waiting for improvement across the board so I can get back to my old routine.

My visual impairment also feels like a curse.

No matter what I do or say it never gets better and nothing really changes, people continue to do what they want meanwhile I'm barely functional wishing I can do more daily.

At least I have a firm working hard on my disability case and can actually get benefits next year and move out if I want to which is definitely doable/

My future is uncertain but I'm going the second route, claiming a disability check and living an easy but boring life.

Always try your best.

I would try to learn about what you are passionate about.