I'm done with everything.

[plskilme]

This is gonna be a long and wordy one, sorry in advance.
Every fucking time I get into a new hobby. My autistic brain fucks it up for me quickly. I got into competitive beyblade x around a month ago now, and it was a great it was a lot of fun. But I fucked it up hard. I was practicing with my friend and his roommate and I screwed myself hard. I went on his roommate's PC and just added myself as a friend on discord so we could talk beyblade combos easier. He noticed and got pissed. (I shouldn't have done that. I regret it.) I got a text from my friend and he basically banned me from practicing at his place, and said we can't carpool to tournaments for a while either. I apologized majorly (because I felt like an asshole). But now he's hardly replying to me and not reaching out as much anymore. I feel like I fucked up bad. I grabbed out my fishing knife and started cutting again... WHY DO I FUCK UP EVERYTHING?!

 

[ijustwannabeloved]

dude u have friends?

 

[sadbh]

It be like that sometimes. Friendships can be bumpy and not all are meant to last forever. You don't have to beat yourself up over this.

 

[plskilme]

It be like that sometimes. Friendships can be bumpy and not all are meant to last forever. You don't have to beat yourself up over this.

If it wasn't for this friend I would have been dead last year. I almost took my own life, and he called me in the middle of finding a nice, quiet, spot to die and told me to come over to his place and just relax.

It be like that sometimes. Friendships can be bumpy and not all are meant to last forever. You don't have to beat yourself up over this.

What I find weird is he banned me from practicing with him and carpooling to tournaments with him. But he's not kicking me out of our team. Part of me wants to find a new team, but there's also apart of me that believes this is a temporary thing. I want to ask him outright, but keep overthinking everything.

 

[violetforever]

I want to ask him outright, but keep overthinking everything.

please ask him instead of taking your life over something that you can discuss and get an answer about first. i hope its temporary and your friendship and hobby lasts <3

 

[plskilme]

please ask him instead of taking your life over something that you can discuss and get an answer about first. i hope its temporary and your friendship and hobby lasts <3

There's also apart of me that wonders if he's only keeping me on the team because I'm 3rd (on a good day 2nd) best in our team... (its a small team with only 5). That part of me wants to find a new team and show up to tournaments he goes to with the intent to kick his ass (in beyblade ofc ). But idk bro

 

[telekon]

There's also apart of me that wonders if he's only keeping me on the team because I'm 3rd (on a good day 2nd) best in our team... (its a small team with only 5). That part of me wants to find a new team and show up to tournaments he goes to with the intent to kick his ass (in beyblade ofc ). But idk bro

I mean it was a social faux pas but nothing you shouldn't be able to laugh about later ..next time just ask to add him on Discord

don't cut yourself

 

[plskilme]

I mean it was a social faux pas but nothing you shouldn't be able to laugh about later ..next time just ask to add him on Discord

don't cut yourself

I've just been stressed about a lot of things besides this. But this was honestly the straw that broke the camels back

 

[violetforever]

There's also apart of me that wonders if he's only keeping me on the team because I'm 3rd (on a good day 2nd) best in our team... (its a small team with only 5). That part of me wants to find a new team and show up to tournaments he goes to with the intent to kick his ass (in beyblade ofc ). But idk bro

dont let this ruin the hobby for u, i hope u enjoy it either way)

 

[SASU-KE]

I don't get why you just didn't give him your discord instead of adding yours to his on his behalf?

Anyway, it's still a pretty harmless thing, although intrusive.I hope he can get past this and you both remain friends.