Venting I’m just a loser

[lithium00]

I'm the biggest loser I know. Nothing in my life ever went well and I'm an idiot for not killing myself yet. My father shouldn't have become a father. I've cut myself since I was 10. I never had actual friends like ever. No one likes me. I've seen a couple therapist since I was 11 and none of them could tell me what the fuck is actually wrong with me or they didn't care, I don't even know.
I'm just a fucking retard. I can't do anything. I can't concentrate on anything. I want to pursue hobbies or anything like that but I can't because I either don't have the energy or just can't concentrate.
I get anxious when I have to go literally anywhere. I get anxious when I have to do the smallest task. I feel like everyone hates me.
Everything sucks and I don't know what to do or how to fix that. I thought that everything would be alright and that it would get better but it doesn't. What did I ever do to deserve this. I just want to be a normal human being but I apparently never got that privilege. I just feel bad all the time. I don't want to do this anymore.

 

[bhaloo]

Found my identical twin

 

[soshified]

if i could tell my therapist this is how i feel without the constant pitying and repetitive "it'll get better" i would. this is all too close to how i feel, i'm 22 i have a job a boyfriend but i still feel like such a loser and a waste of space, a joke. it's hard to even laugh without hating myself. i feel you op

 

[TorturedCerebrum]

I feel the same way, especially with the anxiety part

 

[glowing.purple.aura]

Everything sucks and I don't know what to do or how to fix that. I thought that everything would be alright and that it would get better but it doesn't. What did I ever do to deserve this. I just want to be a normal human being but I apparently never got that privilege. I just feel bad all the time. I don't want to do this anymore.

Felt this. I was never given a fair chance at life. I got stuck with awful parents and then went through one traumatic event after the other. Why am I left with having to fix myself and how I feel due to things I never wanted nor deserved to go through?

 

[hao☆]

Found my identical twin

twin

 

[thekop85]

I feel the same way.
I just want to be done with this.

 

[thruDeathPeace]

Damn, this brings back memories.
I did a lot of shit that probably messed me up worse than I could've been around a similar age. All just trying to feel normal. Was like a light switch would flip on and all the joy in my life would disappear as if god himself looked down on me and said fuck that one guy in particular.

I'm convinced its a diet nutrition issue but if it is I haven't found a solution yet. I was on SSRIs for years and they actually worked pretty well so I was a dumbass for not trying them earlier. Currently taking some kind of magnesium supplement, it definitely does something but will it stop the depression from coming back? Probably not.

Really hope you find a fix cuz its not any more fun when the same shit hits you when you're old.