Anyone else a loser failure

[dearlydeparted44]

Beautiful reply! Threads like this make me sad because people are hating on themselves for no good reason, merely because they couldn't measure up to a bunch of psychopaths' definition of success. Glad you cut your narc mother out of your life, you're much better off without that evil bitch being in it. Same goes for the OP who needs to realize that their mother is the problem, not them.

It's truly heartbreaking to see how so many people on this site actively hate themselves. As if THIS life is something to live UP to. Man, this life is built on such garbage and bullshit until it's not even funny. It's amazing to sit and ponder the many absurdities and asininities upon which the whole of human existence rests. Both man-made and nature made. I really wish more people would see the stupid game life is, and that the majority of their ills aren't their own faults at all.

 

[Lost in a Dream]

It's truly heartbreaking to see how so many people on this site actively hate themselves. As if THIS life is something to live UP to. Man, this life is built on such garbage and bullshit until it's not even funny. It's amazing to sit and ponder the many absurdities and asininities upon which the whole of human existence rests. Both man-made and nature made. I really wish more people would see the stupid game life is, and that the majority of their ills aren't their own faults at all.

I used to be a self hater too but once I realized the world itself was the problem, that went away. Now I just live my life the way I want to until I get tired of living it and then I'm out.

 

[X-sanguinate86]

Loser failure as well. I wish fentanyl was made available to the unwanted so that we could rot on the nod and then just eventually just nod off out of this world.

 

[Acidic_Fries]

A 26 year old loser failure reporting in.

Everytime I try to research suicide methods I get teary eyes and can't concentrate well on reading about it so I tossed it aside for now.

For now I will just try bed-rotting.

 

[JEDM]

Without being too pretentious. I think I'm a pretty big failure too. I feel sorry for my mom. I'm her only child, no one deserves a lazy, non functioning that will never accomplish anything and might end up killing himself. It makes me sad all the resources and time she invested in me. I really wish she aborted me or another sperm won the race.

 

[Kotochan]

what happened with the fentanyl? that's how i want to go. i want to get enough so that it works. but approaching drug addicts on the street in order to score some will prove challenging for an old lady like me...

Sometimes things just don't turn out. With drugs there's always a chance. I was unconscious for hours and was then found but I didn't die.

I needed oxygen for a couple days after even though I was given narcan, and the narcan didn't work at first either. The thing is that there's always a chance because not everyone reacts the same way. Someone can take some small amount of a drug and it interact with a hidden heart condition and there they go.

Or you can overdose on fentanyl and somehow just never go over the edge. There were certainly a few mitigating factors like being found and the drug quality but in all regards it seemed to do the job. The doctors were certain it was an opiate overdose and I had limb nerve damage and was even in the ICU because my oxygen wouldn't recover.

 

[idk3210]

33 here and also a loser failure

 

[aceHardlight]

Yes, loser because of mental health. But anyways, I don't really care...

 

[LostHighway]

Sometimes things just don't turn out. With drugs there's always a chance. I was unconscious for hours and was then found but I didn't die.

I needed oxygen for a couple days after even though I was given narcan, and the narcan didn't work at first either. The thing is that there's always a chance because not everyone reacts the same way. Someone can take some small amount of a drug and it interact with a hidden heart condition and there they go.

Or you can overdose on fentanyl and somehow just never go over the edge. There were certainly a few mitigating factors like being found and the drug quality but in all regards it seemed to do the job. The doctors were certain it was an opiate overdose and I had limb nerve damage and was even in the ICU because my oxygen wouldn't recover.

I'm truly sorry you went through that ordeal. How did you feel when you woke up? Upset? Relieved and happy to be alive? May I ask how much you took and how you found it? I want to take a lot. Even if I have to pay a lot for it.

 

[ZeroRedz02]

i remember you took fentanyl and was found and brought back to life and got brain damaged .

do you think you recovered from that brain damage?

imo i think you used to write differently.

that's one of my biggest fears brain damage and it's one reason i haven't attempted.

what gun do you have?

what do you mean practice shooting yourself, you mean dry firing with no ammunition in the gun?

6 or 7 years passed like a blink of an eye . another reason why life and all the things they say are so important so "enjoyable" so meaningful really mean nothing and are totally meaningless.

however to me 1 second of the worst pain , much more 3 seconds 10 seconds 60 seconds of the constant worst pain must be avoided at all costs . that matters to me avoiding unbearable pain

Did you feel this type of pain? Also what you did for causing it..

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

Did you feel this type of pain? Also what you did for causing it..

Just several different times i felt pain that seemed like it would be unbearable .

but i was able to move away from that pain.

i was out in cold wind . it felt unbearable getting worse every 1/10 of a second. i couldn't take it anymore and got into the car. but i was thinking what if i couldn't get in and had to suffer for hours or days every second getting much worse after it felt unbearable.

we forget pain immediately after it stops . we cognitively know it was something bad but can't recreate the exact feeling from memory.

i don't think i'm that different from other humans . i was watching young healthy humans running from the car to the store because it was cold and windy . but it wasn't even that cold .it was above freezing if remember.

evolution created a torture chamber . the humans and animals who the pain would feel the worst or more unbearable would get out of the cold quicker , or do everything to get water to stop the intolerable pain of thirst , same for hunger for food, tending a would like keeping off a hurt foot etc. these behaviours allowed that human or animal to survive longer and pass on its genes .the animals or humans that could tolerate thirst , cold , hunger , pain etc longer or that it bad but not extremely bad wouldn't act as much or quickly enough and so would die quicker and have less or no offspring. every generation the ability to suffer pain and suffering got worse over millions of years.

there were other incidents i cut my finger , bit my tongue accidentally, many of us touched something hot

if you put your hand on a very hot stove you withdraw your hand immediately the pain is so bad. what if you couldn't and they held your hand against that stove the pain would get more unbearable exponentially every 1/10 of second as you would scream. what if they placed your whole bare skin against scalding hot metal ? the pain would be many times worse than just one hand because 1000's more pain receptors would be screaming at the same time. and they have done this it the past as in the brazen bull torture , boiling people alive , burning people alive , etc. what is worth 3 seconds , 10 seconds, 60 seconds , 5 minutes , an hour , 10 hours of that constant pain ? nothing is even worth 1 second of that pain to me .

i also have had grief, bad nausea for hours or days, bad flu , minor accidents, . i don't even want to go through another bad flu or bad nausea . for what reason? i hate pain and i hate life . there is no reason to put up with any of this bs in this hell .

 

[ZeroRedz02]

Just several different times i felt pain that seemed like it would be unbearable .

but i was able to move away from that pain.

i was out in cold wind . it felt unbearable getting worse every 1/10 of a second. i couldn't take it anymore and got into the car. but i was thinking what if i couldn't get in and had to suffer for hours or days every second getting much worse after it felt unbearable.

we forget pain immediately after it stops . we cognitively know it was something bad but can't recreate the exact feeling from memory.

i don't think i'm that different from other humans . i was watching young healthy humans running from the car to the store because it was cold and windy . but it wasn't even that cold .it was above freezing if remember.

evolution created a torture chamber . the humans and animals who the pain would feel the worst or more unbearable would get out of the cold quicker , or do everything to get water to stop the intolerable pain of thirst , same for hunger for food, tending a would like keeping off a hurt foot etc. these behaviours allowed that human or animal to survive longer and pass on its genes .the animals or humans that could tolerate thirst , cold , hunger , pain etc longer or that it bad but not extremely bad wouldn't act as much or quickly enough and so would die quicker and have less or no offspring. every generation the ability to suffer pain and suffering got worse over millions of years.

there were other incidents i cut my finger , bit my tongue accidentally, many of us touched something hot

if you put your hand on a very hot stove you withdraw your hand immediately the pain is so bad. what if you couldn't and they held your hand against that stove the pain would get more unbearable exponentially every 1/10 of second as you would scream. what if they placed your whole bare skin against scalding hot metal ? the pain would be many times worse than just one hand because 1000's more pain receptors would be screaming at the same time. and they have done this it the past as in the brazen bull torture , boiling people alive , burning people alive , etc. what is worth 3 seconds , 10 seconds, 60 seconds , 5 minutes , an hour , 10 hours of that constant pain ? nothing is even worth 1 second of that pain to me .

i also have had grief, bad nausea for hours or days, bad flu , minor accidents, . i don't even want to go through another bad flu or bad nausea . for what reason? i hate pain and i hate life . there is no reason to put up with any of this bs in this hell .

I know it, especially touching hot things i did suffer that pain alot of times for cook pasta, or meat, also i know the pain of getting cut but nothing itself have to do with cut really for seriously i only get cut by razor sometime the blood does go out a bit slow if it isn't that bad but sometime i cut myself so well that my blood goes faster out..

Anyway getting killed by SN is nothing about suffering for all the life the worst pain in the world.

 

[oilsaniok]

I'm just a loser failure I can't imagine myself going to school or getting a job I can't do it and so I face the consequences of everyone thinking I'm a loser and treating me like one not to mention I'll be homeless if I keep this up

I got a gun and I've been thinking of going out to a park at night and dying I just have no reason to tell anyone in real life

I'm 31 btw, or 30 idk. I'm a loser I think it's my only redemption

me, while my other family member sought success and here i am a dropout student. i have been wanting to CTB but i need to find a place, i avoid homestay

 

[Kotochan]

I'm truly sorry you went through that ordeal. How did you feel when you woke up? Upset? Relieved and happy to be alive? May I ask how much you took and how you found it? I want to take a lot. Even if I have to pay a lot for it.

I got it from the dark net, it was a long time ago.. I woke up in the ambulance distressed by my leg which was completely numb for a week. Walking wasn't possible, I didn't think about much until the days passed and then I felt odd like I had died and I cried because I could not tell if I was alive or dead. Mostly I just lied in bed, I didn't think about how I had failed I just lied there.

By the time it was to send me to the psych hospital it was christmas eve I asked to AMA, and they let me leave. I think the doctor on call was with his family so couldn't report back with an order to hold me. Thats just my guess.

 

[budbud29]

I'm just a loser failure I can't imagine myself going to school or getting a job I can't do it and so I face the consequences of everyone thinking I'm a loser and treating me like one not to mention I'll be homeless if I keep this up

I got a gun and I've been thinking of going out to a park at night and dying I just have no reason to tell anyone in real life

I'm 31 btw, or 30 idk. I'm a loser I think it's my only redemption

I am I'm 29 years old. I still live at home with my sister who is 40 I am so mentally ill and I honestly don't wanna live and have her take care of me or worry about me all the time. I don't think it's fair to her. I hope that I can work up enough courage to Ctb. Otherwise, next thing you know, I'll be 45 most likely on disability living with my sister still because I know I can't function in this world

 

[tomame]

yes. im already 30 and i was ungrateful of having nearly everything i ever wanted and now ive lost it and i hate myself everyday for it.

and external reasons make me think ill never have it again

a life void of all ive ever wanted ):

 

[Kotochan]

Hearts to all of you I didn't think this would resonate with so many people. Sorry that you're all in this same position, I know how it feels so I wish the best for you all

And thanks for sharing, it's somehow cathartic to see a shared experience, for something that's so lonely

 

[Idkwhattopick]

I hope you gonna be successful this time. Because lives can't really improve. There is no confirmed case of someone turning his life around. Thats why i am gonna do it with fentanyl probably

Respectfully, I'm not saying it's the case for everyone but for some things can improve and there are lots of documented cases of people turning their lives around. I'm sorry you feel the way you do (both you and OP) and I understand why you're here, as I am also here for likely similar reasons. But please be careful with such blanket statements