I had such high hopes that I'd ctb by now. I didn't expect to make it past July (time of my last attempts) and yet I'm still here. I've tried to block out everyone in my life and have lost contact with the few people I know in my life. This has been mostly successful. There was a small part of me before that wished someone would notice but I'm glad now no one did. But now certain events in my life are making my absence more noticeable. I don't have the energy to lie or push people away anymore. I just want to sleep forever, I hate my life and this cruel world and have no hope of things getting any better. But now I'm messing with some of my family knowing how suicidal I am. I don't want to be put away. I would never rush my ctb but I realized the freedom I have to do it now may soon be limited. This will make it infinity more difficult in the long run and I may be forced to endure. I'm just upset I guess, I wish I could just do it... FML
-
Hey Guest,
We wanted to share a quick update with the community.
Our public expense ledger is now live, allowing anyone to see how donations are used to support the ongoing operation of the site.
👉 View the ledger hereOver the past year, increased regulatory pressure in multiple regions like UK OFCOM and Australia's eSafety has led to higher operational costs, including infrastructure, security, and the need to work with more specialized service providers to keep the site online and stable.
If you value the community and would like to help support its continued operation, donations are greatly appreciated. If you wish to donate via Bank Transfer or other options, please open a ticket.
Donate via cryptocurrency:
Bitcoin (BTC):Ethereum (ETH):Monero (XMR):
Valon
Member
- Sep 14, 2020
- 70
I am also battling SI. It is terrible as I have no quality of life or reason to stay alive. What were your previous attempts like? If you don't want to talk about them no problem
I tried plastic bag with my hands bound but the sleeping pills failed me. I tried full suspension in my bathroom but pulled the pole right out of the wall, I'm not even that heavy. I don't have any other good anchor points, or any I guess. With those two failures back to back I desperately tried manual strangulation but couldn't pass out. Wasn't a fun day and a half to say the least.
VIBRITANNIA
lelouch. any pronouns. pfp is by pixiv id 3217872.
- Aug 10, 2020
- 1,156
i'm sorry you've been forced to suffer for so long. it's especially awful that there's a chance you have to suffer for longer. nobody deserves that.
muffin222
Enlightened
- Mar 31, 2020
- 1,187
I'm sorry life has brought you such pain and sorrow. I hope that you can find some glimmer of hope or comfort to help you endure, if that's what you choose to do
<3
LetzteAusfahrt
Swiss gay, will definitely ctb on October 10th
- Jun 27, 2020
- 590
I would be happy if I can help you make a decision. Being able to help others is the reason that I didn't take the bus long ago.
What exactly is it that keeps you trapped in this world that does not allow you to find peace?
Oh I'm not seeking help but thanks for the offer. The decision is made, if I had a gun right now I would not be typing this. My SI traps me here.Similar threads
Venting I WANT TO DIE RIGHT NOW- know-nothing
- Suicide Discussion
Suicide Discussioniwanttodie019
