I am also dealing with heartbreak, homelessness, and disabled among other things. I say this not to make it about me, but to assure you I come from a place of understanding (as much as anyone can without actually being you).
Also I am terribly sorry that you are experiencing this, and that you have to live afraid of anyone, especially the one person who should protect you.
It is not my place to encourage, or discourage any actions you think will bring you peace.
However, I will say in the end we cant expect someone else to save us. Either we can save ourselves, or we cant. I know that sounds cruel, but it is the unfortunate truth.
Before you make any final decisions, think everything through carefully, and explore all options no matter how small or hopeless they may seem. If you are sure you simply must catch the next bus out of town, schedule that trip 6 months from now. This will give you time to discover new opportunities that may not be present, or may be hard to see at the moment.
I am not promising anything will get better, change, or even not get worse. I wont lie to you, and say I believe all life is precious. I am simply saying like tattoo, its permanent, and you should be sure its what you want to do.
It is not my intention to sound dismissive, or even ignorant as the mainstream populace, I am simply sharing what I feel is the best advice I have to offer from my own experiences.
If anything I have said offends, or upsets you in anyway, I do sincerely apologize, and feel free to express so.
