I’m going very, very soon.

[Cockney_Rebel]

NO fucking about this time.

This one's for real.

I have enough medication (poison) to kill a horse, but the anger in me is raging, and I think I'm going to jump.

I've been on this car park roof before, and I know I can scale it again. The fuck heads didn't do much of a good job of sealing it off.

Once I'm up there, I'll have complete control (as I did before: Had police negotiators bringing me what I wanted.)

Was considering overdosing whilst up there, right in front of them, whilst they felt helpless. There's a beautiful (but twisted?) logic in that, as I have felt helpless for a very long time.

I've taken many, many overdoses. Have died before, but the cunts revived me.

This time, I want it to be violent.

I questioned the distance of the fall before, and thought it wasn't high enough, which is why I never jumped. However, now I feel confident it would do the job.

I'm done.

I'm absolutely fucking done.

I actually want this one to be painful.

Life is pain, and pain is life.

 

[FuneralCry]

You are right that life is pain. Life is a nightmare and it is something that I wish I never had to experience. I know life can be unbearable when you are desperate to leave. I wish you the best.