Venting im being 'infantillized' by my friends.

[lovelulu]

Im not sure if I worded this weird or not, but basically—my friends keep on calling me cute and adorable and stuff. Im not saying I dont like those compliments, they make me feel nice sometimes in fact, but recently they've been overbearing it. If that makes any sense. If I do anything remotely normal or just something I usually do, they keep calling me cute and adorable and saying how im just a baby. On top of that, its like they're dumbing me down— and constantly pitying me. Thats the biggest thing i get irritated at is when they pity me way too much. It makes me seem helpless and retarded. I dont even really think this is much of a problem, but with my mental problems and shit—its really making me pissed off, mostly because with them dumbing me down and making me seem 'cute', they don't listen to anything I say and I'm constantly ignored and talked over and excessively pity me. They speak to me in this certain tone—asking me things like im stupid or something. For example, today I was sharing a bag of chips with my friend. There's only a few chips left so she puts on this stupid pity voice and asks me, "can I have these last chips, or do you want them?" With this voice talking to me like im a child and I cant understand basic things. With them dumbing me down and making me seem like a child, they're constantly asking for my things with a pathetic voice. Im probably overreacting about this whole thing, but I needed to get it off my chest.

 

[violetforever]

is there any reason why they would be doing that? do they know ur depressed or suicidal or something? are u younger? ive dealt with this before and it makes me feel helpless too. tbh ive even done it to other people too.

 

[lovelulu]

is there any reason why they would be doing that? do they know ur depressed or suicidal or something? are u younger? ive dealt with this before and it makes me feel helpless too. tbh ive even done it to other people too.

Yes, they do know im both depressed and suicidal; however a few of them know the severity of it. Im the 3rd youngest in my group of friends, so im on the younger side but not the youngest.

 

[Mirelight]

My roommate does that to me, even though he's a few months younger than me. Always making me feel like I'm the child in the room and even though we pay for things equally he never takes my decisions/opinion seriously. Like, I guess me being a pushover is a huge part of the problem, I hate being in conflict and mind games feels the worse so I'm always the first one to give in. He's also financially and socially in a better position than me, we share the same friend circle and everybody likes him very much so I am afraid if I go even a little bit against him, my world's gonna collapse. I'm stuck in a 2 years lease and I can't afford to just break it, and being with him just seems to be making me more and more suicidal every week :(

 

[notreallybored]

ב''ה, while this kind of 'joshing' was always a thing, culturally the past decade took a rapid shift into this 'remember, kindness sucks too / is just someone else's job description.'

There's a lot of reasons, and it sure is a sort of 'cannot unsee' especially with the economic fuckery and 'battle to be recognized as oppressed' bullshit and reality every what way.

Between the forever wars (and some of that being baked into religions) and just how shitty urban life always has been .. well, those are some additional causes.


Just felt like commenting on the exogenous portion, while somehow media and everything else (that's quite a lot of 'everything else' to go around) has pushed everyone into 'care fatigue' and it's hard to tell who even had an ability to give a fuck about another person to begin with.

Honestly not that it helps but it's probably a mix of feeling shitty and needing it acknowledged making anything that comes off the slightest bit patronizing feel even worse, and everyone else's sort of ego-narcissism-inexperience (as far as stuffing their own fatigued 'just want shit to be my idea of normal and easy for me') being less filtered these days, as is technically juvenile of them, but the state of the world proves that growing into stoicism is just choosing masochism so the general 'kids on the couch' of it all is just a baseline default for the majority of people more than ever.