Hello all! Im new to these forums, I dont know all the etiquette so forgive me if I say something or ask something im not supposed to.
Me and my girlfriend of almost 2 years just broke up, and its all my fault. I have big trust issues and I was constantly asking her questions about what she was doing and who she was talking with, even though I knew by asking that I was probably just driving her further into potential infidelity. Anyways from my knowledge she still hasn't but my trust issues have just been getting worse and worse and Ive now broken up with her. Its feels so weird knowing there's a 99% chance im insane but still letting that 1% chance I could be getting played take over my actions, I feel so helpless even though its me in control. She's the best thing thats happened to me in forever and now that she is gone I can already feel myself justifying suicide. When I was still in high-school and having these thoughts I always couldnt kill my self becuase I thought it'd be dumb to die so young when there's still things im looking to experience, but the biggest reason was I was terrified of not being successful and living in whatever horrible condition im in afterward. I feel like my life now is just so empty of joy, and I dont think itll be coming back, so I come here to help find ways one can ensure their passing painlessly
Me and my girlfriend of almost 2 years just broke up, and its all my fault. I have big trust issues and I was constantly asking her questions about what she was doing and who she was talking with, even though I knew by asking that I was probably just driving her further into potential infidelity. Anyways from my knowledge she still hasn't but my trust issues have just been getting worse and worse and Ive now broken up with her. Its feels so weird knowing there's a 99% chance im insane but still letting that 1% chance I could be getting played take over my actions, I feel so helpless even though its me in control. She's the best thing thats happened to me in forever and now that she is gone I can already feel myself justifying suicide. When I was still in high-school and having these thoughts I always couldnt kill my self becuase I thought it'd be dumb to die so young when there's still things im looking to experience, but the biggest reason was I was terrified of not being successful and living in whatever horrible condition im in afterward. I feel like my life now is just so empty of joy, and I dont think itll be coming back, so I come here to help find ways one can ensure their passing painlessly
