Venting idk how people survive in relationships

[iguazo falls]

every small thing feels like rejection and i cant stop thinking about how if i dont break up w them now then itll be a worse break up later. i was so panicked this morning over something then an hour later they are totally fine and i still feel like shit. i keep thinking about ctb and sabotaging everything to ctb alone. i dont know how to word the rest but idk how people cope, everyday i feel like i fuck up or am so scared i have. i thought i wouldn't be limerant anymore but this just keeps getting worse and i feel like i have to isolate myself and avoid them beause being close hurts more if i feel rejected. ive just been rotting ion my room bleeding and i dont want them to think its their fault but i dont want to do this anymore and theyve done nothing wrong i just dont know why im like this.