I’m addicted to how disgusting I look and it’s consuming my life

[violetdevil]

I can't stop looking at girls on social media that are beautiful, wishing I looked like them. Why was I born so ugly? It's not fair. I can't handle being myself, it's a prison. I'm constantly thinking about suicide and how I look. I just want to look in the mirror and think I look okay. I hate being around others because all they do is judge me for how disgusting I am. I feel like a fucking alien. I've never seen someone so ugly before that they don't even look human besides myself. Guys never think I'm good enough for them and girls look at me like I'm a mythical creature
I cannot stand to be in this body any longer. I just want to leave this world

 

[Snake of Eden]

It sux to be very ugly. Im sorry you were dealt bad hand

 

[Stuckaf2]

I am also ducking disgusting and should be killed to save people from having to look at me

 

[HappyPotato]

I'm always scrolling on social media and looking at all the pretty girls. it really sucks. I'm sorry you feel that way. I can relate.

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

Social media is way too depressing… Everybody is beautiful and having a wonderful time

 

[...]

the most unfair thing about human life. being good looking is an easy ride in life whilst the rest of us suffer miserably.
I have had social media deleted for awhile now to avoid the burning depression of seeing attractive people. it is better to pretend they don't exist.

 

[Snake of Eden]

the most unfair thing about human life. being good looking is an easy ride in life whilst the rest of us suffer miserably.
I have had social media deleted for awhile now to avoid the burning depression of seeing attractive people. it is better to pretend they don't exist.

I think being beautiful has its own set of problems. It is not all roses and rainbows for good looking people. Being sexually harassed, envy/jealousy from other people, being delusional because of inflated ego, falling in love with the wrong type of people just because they are pretty while they are psychopaths. There are alot of bad things that can go wrong just because someone is beautiful in appearance

 

[PeacefulTonic]

the most unfair thing about human life. being good looking is an easy ride in life whilst the rest of us suffer miserably.
I have had social media deleted for awhile now to avoid the burning depression of seeing attractive people. it is better to pretend they don't exist.

While it's true that good looking people have it easier in life, it may not always work out in their favor. I know of a bunch of guys who are tall and good looking and had an easy ride throughout their teens and adulthood, but they had average intelligence and didn't really make anything of themselves. They had it easy growing up and just coasted through life. Now they're broke, and working jobs such as waiting tables and living paycheck to paycheck

On the other hand, I know some ugly dudes who are dating/married to attractive women, have a great job, and have their life together. It's how you play the hand you are dealt.

Sometimes people can turn shitty hands into winning ones. Sometimes people get dealt a good hand and end up pissing it all away with bad decisions(such as myself).
And unfortunately you can get dealt a shitty hand, and there's absolutely nothing you can do but fold

 

[4eyebiped]

I have also seen a good number of people who thought they were ugly but were not (Mainly talking about women as I can't judge men). I have seen women I thought were absolutely lovely but they thought they weren't. The sad part is, there was no convincing them otherwise as they assume you are simply being polite. We tend to judge ourselves harshly because we are often comparing ourselves to unrealistic expectations and online imagery. We then forgo character. For some reason that seems to no longer matter. Fuck someone having depth I just want to fap to them... That almost what it seems like at times.

Now, with that said, I know I am ugly. I literally have over 2000 rejections to prove it! I am the king of the wretched and undesirables! The rest of you are amateurs! ;)

In all seriousness, a lot of what you see online is not realistic. You don't have to be that to be desired, loved, appreciated or found to be beautiful. Beauty is a spectrum and everyone has their likes and dislikes. You don't have to be a 10 to be considered pretty and heck a 10 often is considered intimidating and most would be unhealthy jealous if they were in a relationship with that person. The problem is we have fallen prey to the online world, not the real world. Then add in online dating and the swipe culture that once again forgoes content and character... I for one actually enjoy these things.

Us depressed rarely get out and socialize and our future partners aren't going door to door to find us. I fell prey to this. For those that do get out, they often have issues like awkwardness that prevents healthy interaction. They assume they are undesired when in fact they may appear standoffish. These situations give the impression of being ugly or undesired.

Okay, I am rambling at this point and don't claim the above pertains to everyone, but it does to some.

 

[Aplev]

If it helps, I am a guy and honestly, if I had to choose between physical appearance and personality in a girl, I would definitely choose personality. I always felt lonely for not being any girl that could understand my feelings and perceptions of the world, and if there was one that could do this, I would give crap about how they look. Although not every guy is like this, I know many of us are.

I relate to you on the thought that no one is as bad as you, though (I sometimes feel the same as you, in other ways). Whether this post helps you or not, I hope you will be able to find happiness in the end.

 

[-FrozenRobot-]

Oh god, yes! I hate having to see myself in the mirror every single day. It's constantly running in my mind how disgusting I am and I just want to CTB. I think most of my problems wouldn't exist if I wasn't ugly. I would've had someone for myself who will care about me and satisfy my emotional needs.

 

[...]

Oh god, yes! I hate having to see myself in the mirror every single day. It's constantly running in my mind how disgusting I am and I just want to CTB. I think most of my problems wouldn't exist if I wasn't ugly. I would've had someone for myself who will care about me and satisfy my emotional needs.

anyone else used to put towels over their mirrors in their room/house or is it just me lmao. one look in the mirror and i'd be depressed for the rest of the day

 

[OpheliasFlowers]

anyone else used to put towels over their mirrors in their room/house or is it just me lmao. one look in the mirror and i'd be depressed for the rest of the day

I wouldn't dare say this anywhere else but here on this forum because I know (some) people will understand (and some will still be grossed out) and fortunately I literally have NO ONE that comes over to my home to see this, but... my bathroom mirror is **so thickly covered** with toothpaste splatter - YEARS worth of it, no joke - and while I clean the rest of my bathroom I have left that disgusting splatter on the mirror because it obscures my reflection enough so that I can somewhat see what I'm doing in it but yet can't really make out my features very well. If and when I've seen myself in clean mirrors, like when I'm at the doctor or whatever, I feel so incredibly depressed and awful about my appearance that I used to just go to bed and pull the covers up and 'hide' under there. Years and years ago, when I was much younger and still able to go out more often and go places and do things, when I'd see other women who I felt so inferior to, or I'd see myself in mirrors or the glass windows of stores, etc, I'd go home and cry and just want to die. The hatred of my appearance goes back decades and so I understand the emotions that come from that. I'm so sorry you feel like this as well. :(

 

[...]

i could be out and literally be having so much fun and be in the greatest mood but if i caught my reflection it would ruin the rest of my day. same if on a night out and id be enjoying myself but then people would ask for a group photo and my mood would just completely change because ik i will end up seeing a picture of myself at some point.

 

[babydove]

i relate to this so much. i have a laundry list of things i wish i could fix about my face and body, and i swear that if i were pretty then so many of my problems would go away. i obsess over how disgusting i am, and it all just feeds back into the knowledge that i'm unworthy of being loved.

i understand entirely

 

[Insomniac]

eventually their beauty will fade. It's more brutal to age when you're beautiful because losing that pretty privilege is disorienting.

growing up, there was several girls in my school that I was terribly envious of because of their beauty. And I was made fun of for my long face countless of time. Now, I'm 24 years old and weirdly enough, I have become way more conventionally beautiful than them
however,they still lead healthier/happier lives than me.

Just to say that beauty isn't a fixed thing. we'll end up rotting corpes anyway. The more I age, the more I look down and am disgusted with my younger self for being so shallow and for judging people by their look. It's a mental illness that affects all of society and it's really terrible. Bone structures says nothing about someone's health. This proves that we're still dumb animals honestly. gross.

I sometimes see couples of people who are truly ugly by society standards. But they have kids and have friends and lead very healthy happy lives. Beauty really isn't a defining factor I think, although it indeniably contributes.

 

[rationalis]

Most annoying to me is people presume everyone shares their warped values.

 

[solid_snake]

I think being beautiful has its own set of problems. It is not all roses and rainbows for good looking people. Being sexually harassed, envy/jealousy from other people, being delusional because of inflated ego, falling in love with the wrong type of people just because they are pretty while they are psychopaths. There are alot of bad things that can go wrong just because someone is beautiful in appearance

Yep. I also think that extremely attractive people are really insecure. Some get into modeling to validate that they are 'valid' and normal. It can be a real curse.

 

[violetdevil]

Most annoying to me is people presume everyone shares their warped values.

Warped values?

 

[Dot]

Socl mdia = fke

 

[rationalis]

Warped values?

Society's focus on celebrities and superficial nothingness. It is possible to opt out.

 

[Insomniac]

Society's focus on celebrities and superficial nothingness. It is possible to opt out.

I'm so sick of seeing celebrities faces in my news feeds everyday. I wonder how they don't hate themselves for being such attention whores.

some of them are truly entertaining and valuable, but it's only a handful.

 

[FuneralCry]

The truth is that life is very unfair, everything is determined by luck and chance. Many people are disadvantaged through no fault of their own. It can be painful being alive as there is no escape from ourselves and our thoughts. Social media is shallow and narcissistic. It does not reflect reality and it can lead to people having unrealistic expectations. People may be physically beautiful but you cannot see the true pain that people carry inside. Social media is what people want others to see rather than what their lives are really like. I stay far away from it.

I do understand not being physically beautiful, I am horrible to look at. The answer for me is to avoid mirrors. But in my case, no matter what I looked like I would still be empty. I hope you find peace.

 

[BeanyBoo]

I can't stop looking at girls on social media that are beautiful, wishing I looked like them. Why was I born so ugly? It's not fair. I can't handle being myself, it's a prison. I'm constantly thinking about suicide and how I look. I just want to look in the mirror and think I look okay. I hate being around others because all they do is judge me for how disgusting I am. I feel like a fucking alien. I've never seen someone so ugly before that they don't even look human besides myself. Guys never think I'm good enough for them and girls look at me like I'm a mythical creature
I cannot stand to be in this body any longer. I just want to leave this world

One suggestion i can think of is to watch british tv shows and Other independent shows and movies often feature more average looking people.

 

[Stuckaf2]

While it's true that good looking people have it easier in life, it may not always work out in their favor. I know of a bunch of guys who are tall and good looking and had an easy ride throughout their teens and adulthood, but they had average intelligence and didn't really make anything of themselves. They had it easy growing up and just coasted through life. Now they're broke, and working jobs such as waiting tables and living paycheck to paycheck

On the other hand, I know some ugly dudes who are dating/married to attractive women, have a great job, and have their life together. It's how you play the hand you are dealt.

Sometimes people can turn shitty hands into winning ones. Sometimes people get dealt a good hand and end up pissing it all away with bad decisions(such as myself).
And unfortunately you can get dealt a shitty hand, and there's absolutely nothing you can do but fold

What about the ones who got dealt good cards and also didn't waste their life by making bad decisions? I think no one talks about those who ruined it with their own hands... but rather about the hotties that are smart...

 

[Sittichmutter]

I can't stop looking at girls on social media that are beautiful, wishing I looked like them. Why was I born so ugly? It's not fair. I can't handle being myself, it's a prison. I'm constantly thinking about suicide and how I look. I just want to look in the mirror and think I look okay. I hate being around others because all they do is judge me for how disgusting I am. I feel like a fucking alien. I've never seen someone so ugly before that they don't even look human besides myself. Guys never think I'm good enough for them and girls look at me like I'm a mythical creature
I cannot stand to be in this body any longer. I just want to leave this world

 

[Starryeyes]

i could be out and literally be having so much fun and be in the greatest mood but if i caught my reflection it would ruin the rest of my day. same if on a night out and id be enjoying myself but then people would ask for a group photo and my mood would just completely change because ik i will end up seeing a picture of myself at some point.

I'm exactly the same :(. Catch one glimpse of myself in a shop window, accidentally opening my
Phone camera to front facing. Car mirrors. My day is ruined

 

[Snake of Eden]

I'm exactly the same :(. Catch one glimpse of myself in a shop window, accidentally opening my
Phone camera to front facing. Car mirrors. My day is ruined

Kinda glad im not the only one

 

[okaoki]

i'd stay away from social media , most girls that post on IG uses some form of filters. they don't look as good IRL .
i dont look at mirror of my self .

 

[...]

i'm ugly regardless but i feel like i'm one of a minority who actually looks a bit better in person than in photos

i'd stay away from social media , most girls that post on IG uses some form of filters. they don't look as good IRL .
i dont look at mirror of my self .