Venting Getting over SI

[RedFruit]

I'm finally getting over my SI. I just keep reminding myself that there's no point in living in a world like this. I'm constantly shown that I'm not purposeful in this world. My whole life I've been used and traumatized. I'm at the point where I can't carry this pain anymore. Everyday is the same. I'm sick of being alive knowing that I'm here only to be poked like a bear and have to attempt not to lash out.

I've had a rope for years. I bought it when I was a minor. I can't believe it's taken me so long to CTB. I think it's finally time. I can't keep suffering. I'm going to tie my rope to the outside handle, throw it over the top, and try to PH myself that way. I'll just be testing it tonight to see if it holds me. Maybe I'll CTB this weekend. It has to be soon. I have a big event to look forward to in Aug but I don't see how it's possible to live until then. I'm at my breaking point.

 

[tonicer]

I hope you find the peace you are seeking and please let us know how it is on the other side.

 

[RedFruit]

I hope you find the peace you are seeking and please let us know how it is on the other side.

Thank you. I hope I can keep the SI away
I'm going to start updates up again on my CTB thread

My CTB thread

CTB is the only option at this point. I have purchased a one way ticket to Florida. I will land in Miami and then travel to my hotel in Fort Lauderdale. I have to make it work somehow. My first method was to get drunk/drugged up and fall off a tall building. The method id like to do is a...

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