Venting "If I killed myself, I wouldn't have to worry about anything again."

[glittergore]

I don't have the ability to articulate how much relief and peace - sweet, rare peace - that statement gives me. In death, there would be no more obsessions, no more danger, no more to lose, just the heavy blanket of death. I would finally be safe, for the first time since I was born. Wouldn't that be a novelty?

 

[Mr2005]

Yeah I guess

 

[I screwed up]

Yes .death will take away all our
Troubles. But the only problem in my case is my bloody SI. I know ctb is my only solution but I still have no guts to end it all ... Someone pl help me

 

[AnxietyAttack44]

That is correct. Now i cannot comprehend why i cant just ctb if i know that. Why do i still worry. Or does this body simply enjoy the pain and stress.

 

[Mr2005]

That is correct. Now i cannot comprehend why i cant just ctb if i know that. Why do i still worry. Or does this body simply enjoy the pain and stress.

The things you'll miss. Of course you won't when you're dead but consciously saying goodbye to that is hard

 

[WinterFaust]

It's incredibly alluring and calming.
I suppose I get stuck on the fact that I won't be able to perceive the relief or rest I wish to achieve. Which is silly, I know.

 

[Tragoedia Vitae]

I too want to believe that death would bring sweet oblivion and eternal freedom from the wearying cares of life. At the same time, I'm deeply afraid of the possibility that consciousness does not actually terminate at the moment of death.

I know I'm being irrational, but the very thought that something of our old consciousness might linger on in the afterlife, that our souls might survive us....it's too horrifying to contemplate. Being trapped within the confines of your consciousness for all eternity, being forced to contend with an unquiet soul for all eternity...all this while people naively think that your bones or ashes have been laid to rest for once and all. It's just too despair-inducing.

I wish I could believe that death annihilates everything, but I just can't be sure.