I wish I could just do it

[Spiritual survivor]

I feel so disconnected from other people and alone. It is my fault to an extent but it's driving me over the edge. I know I should be greatful considering everything but deep down I'm terribly depressed and not very functional as of late. I wish I could just be more motivated and happy despite a tragic life reality. Im lucky to get like two things accomplished on any given day yet there's a lot more to do but I just can't bring myself to care. It's like I got this pathological apathy going on. I'm an older woman and 45 yrs old. I had never married or have kids, estranged from all family bc they were toxic. I also have struggled to maintain relationships. It's like I don't mean to but I seem to fuck all friendships up. Often it's communication issues and being avoidant but that freaks pple out when u don't text or call them back quick enough. I'm afraid of certain personalities that are kind of more pushy I guess u could say. Seems like I often befriend people who scare me off because I see hints of what they behave like wen angry and it makes me afraid to continue the friendship.

 

[Sick of it all]

I'm a 44yo male and have been living with bipolar, depression, and schizophrenia for most of my life. If you need someone to talk to, feel free to PM me.

 

[wanttodie]

me to wish I could just do it

 

[FuneralCry]

If by the title you mean ctb, then I also wish that I could just leave. Ctb really is so difficult and I envy those who are gone. I'm sorry that you suffer so much. I hope that you find relief from what you are going through. Best wishes.