Venting I think I’m going to attempt tomorrow

[princeseadove]

I think I'm going to die tomorrow. I tried doing better for the past few days, but I don't think I can do this anymore. I am so sick of it. I am so sick of it all iy makes me nauseous and wanting to vomit. In two weeks I'll have to go back to actual hell and I can't afford that anymore, absolutely not. I'm not dying today because tomorrow I was planning on treating myself, I still am. I'm blowing all my money away too. It's a bit funny. I'm regarded as a good person, for my job, for how I always take it, but i don't think I ever was. I think I was just trying to look for some sort of purpose but to no avail. I am so tired. I can't breathe in the slightest.

 

[tend a dead garden]

may i ask what will occur in two weeks which makes it so you have finally decided to CTB, I'm guessing it's returning to work but would like some clarification if you don't mind?

 

[princeseadove]

may i ask what will occur in two weeks which makes it so you have finally decided to CTB, I'm guessing it's returning to work but would like some clarification if you don't mind?

It is, it's a very harsh deadline and my family expects so much, but I just can't. Sorry I can't share too much or else it'll give out personal details

 

[tend a dead garden]

You don't have to apologise, work can be akin to hell and then throw in a family aspect putting pressure on you , hell is other people, hell isn't a place but what you drag with you.
Have you decided on the method of CTB?