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chlorine

chlorine

I am free, therefore I am lost.
Apr 12, 2019
217
I'm done. Done. Done with everything. Done with life. I wanna kill myself so bad. But I can't.. I'm in a community and they won't let me go out alone. If I could I'd jump in front of a train. Can someone help me figure out a way to ctb inside here?
 
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ExhaustedExistence

ExhaustedExistence

Life is just waiting for death
Mar 26, 2021
693
Can I ask you what community it is?
 
Superdeterminist

Superdeterminist

Enlightened
Apr 5, 2020
1,873
It's an open community where you can even go out, exept for me cause I'm the worst case and they fear I mij t kill myself
Sorry what do you mean "you can even go out" that seems to suggest going out is not a standard freedom?
 
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ExhaustedExistence

ExhaustedExistence

Life is just waiting for death
Mar 26, 2021
693
It's an open community where you can even go out, exept for me cause I'm the worst case and they fear I mij t kill myself
Sorry, I don't get it. Is it a psych ward?
 
ExhaustedExistence

ExhaustedExistence

Life is just waiting for death
Mar 26, 2021
693
No, I just got out from there and now I'm in an institution
So I guess it's kinda better than psych ward. Are you voluntarily there? Couldn't you just leave?
 
chlorine

chlorine

I am free, therefore I am lost.
Apr 12, 2019
217
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WornOutLife

WornOutLife

マット
Mar 22, 2020
7,183
Being monitored 24/7 certainly sucks.

I don't know what to tell you because when I was forced to live with my parents last year and I just couldn't do anything "suspicious".

Hope you can feel better soon, somehow.

Hugs,

Matt
 
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ExhaustedExistence

ExhaustedExistence

Life is just waiting for death
Mar 26, 2021
693
No, not without my parents and my psychiatrist consent
I'm really sorry. I don't know what I should tell you. It seems you don't have any good opportunity to ctb.

At least this suffering won't last forever and you will be free someday. Wish you the best.
 
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ShePastAway

Member
May 19, 2021
94
I can understand how you feel, having no freedom and being monitored feels debilitating. I'm not sure what to suggest as I don't know your setting, but if you can find something to distract yourself and keep occupied, like a creative hobby, that you can do during this time as being alone with your thoughts can really make you feel terrible.
I hope that you will find your freedom and feel better soon.
Wishing you love and all the best.
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
48,670
I know how you feel, it really is hard to die. Many methods require not being found for a certain amount of time to actually succeed. I think as humans we should have a right to a peaceful death if we want one, people shouldn't be forced to suffer. Having a lack of freedom must be an awful thing. I wish you the best.
 
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