Venting I need to say this somewhere

[archipelago]

This is a word dump. I don't really have anyone else to tell right now. Sorry if it won't make sense, I can't be bothered to read it over before posting right now.

Two things:

First - I'll intentionally be vague, but a friend of a friend died recently (possible ctb) and helping my friend through this process is making me worried of the toll it will take on them when I go. While I haven't set an exact date for myself, I do have a date for which I will definitely have to be gone by.

Second - I'm much more bothered by how people react to my life situation, than the situation itself. Even in little ways, and with people who I wouldn't otherwise explain much to. IT PISSES ME OFF. FFS I'd just like it if people were actually happy for me that I'm away from an abusive piece of shit who used his childhood abuse as an excuse to do the same to me. I'm away from someone who is narcissistic, abusive, manipulative and who has no self-awareness. I legitimately feel happy for the first time in so long. I don't have to be around someone who laughs and makes fun of the things I enjoy, I'm free to do so many beautiful and wonderful things with people who are actually good, and I can be introspective in the most wonderful way that I missed so much.

Doesn't mean I want to stay on here (for a million other reasons), but just knowing that I'm actually happy and I can ctb in peace is wonderful, and I'd rather not have people take pity on me for being away from a human sack of garbage.

That's all, thank you for reading.

 

[FuneralCry]

It can be very frustrating having to deal with people. I personally cannot stand people in general. I understand why you would be angry at them. I wish you the best.

 

[archipelago]

It can be very frustrating having to deal with people. I personally cannot stand people in general. I understand why you would be angry at them. I wish you the best.

I think there are some real gems out there, but they aren't easy to find. I do my best just to stay with people like that but there are times where I have to interact with people outside those gems and I hate doing it. I completely get where you're coming from. Thanks for replying

 

[Somber]

Most people that commit suicide leave others behind that will have to cope with your loss. Nobody wants to leave them in pain. Some will dedicate their lives to taking care of those loved ones. For others the pain of continued existence requires more immediate resolution.

Suicide is usually not a choice but an inevitability when all other options have failed. Maybe knowing you can CTB at any moment is enough for you to carry on with your life, maybe it's not. But if you do decide to go, leave an explanation behind, not in vague terms that are open to interpretation, but be specific so they know you tried all other options first.
So that they know there was nothing they could have done to save you.
So they are not left with feelings of guilt.

I'm happy for you being in a better place, though.

 

[KlMeNw]

Peace be with you.

 

[archipelago]

Most people that commit suicide leave others behind that will have to cope with your loss. Nobody wants to leave them in pain. Some will dedicate their lives to taking care of those loved ones. For others the pain of continued existence requires more immediate resolution.

Suicide is usually not a choice but an inevitability when all other options have failed. Maybe knowing you can CTB at any moment is enough for you to carry on with your life, maybe it's not. But if you do decide to go, leave an explanation behind, not in vague terms that are open to interpretation, but be specific so they know you tried all other options first.
So that they know there was nothing they could have done to save you.
So they are not left with feelings of guilt.

I'm happy for you being in a better place, though.

Thank you for this, I will take this advice to heart.