I can't kill myself, I don't want my parents end up blaming each other, I need it to be an accident so they look at it and think "well, shit happens, what can we do". If I kill myself I'm afraid they'll blame themselves for not trying to help me or something like that, which is not the case because I don't even want help, I don't want to get better.
Other thing is that I don't have the courage to cease my own existence, that's nearly impossible to me.
I've been trying to passively kill myself in these last years due to lack of care or looking for some fast accident, but I barely leave my own bedroom the odds are against me.
My blood tests are sightly bad but not enough to kill me, my vitamin D is extremely low, but not sure if it can lead to anything fatal.
So I wonder how can I end up dying? It doesn't need to be a certain death, but maybe something that if I do regularly have good chances of end up in a fatal accident and killing me. That's what I need.
I'm not afraid of the pain or suffering, as long as it leads to certain death.
Other thing is that I don't have the courage to cease my own existence, that's nearly impossible to me.
I've been trying to passively kill myself in these last years due to lack of care or looking for some fast accident, but I barely leave my own bedroom the odds are against me.
My blood tests are sightly bad but not enough to kill me, my vitamin D is extremely low, but not sure if it can lead to anything fatal.
So I wonder how can I end up dying? It doesn't need to be a certain death, but maybe something that if I do regularly have good chances of end up in a fatal accident and killing me. That's what I need.
I'm not afraid of the pain or suffering, as long as it leads to certain death.
