i might ctb

[metapod]

I've always only cut myself to self harm, just to get that release form internal pain and convert it to external, but now the pain has become too great for me to handle. i'm so tired of living and i just want to get it over with. i don't want my family to go through that though, so i don't know how i would do it. i might make it look like an accident? like get hit by a car or something, but i don't want to end up alive in the hospital with worse damage. i also want a friend to share self harm scars and acts with, but all my friends just tell my parents about it and they call my doctor and it started a whole mess. i just don't know what to do.

 

[s1mplem3]

If someone knows about cuts and mental health then they probably expect you to be suicidal, maybe it is not worth to make it accident like, besides that better don't use anyone to CTB (like a car driver or police). If you want to share your scars and just vent, then my PM is open for you.

 

[Iloveyouall]

That's not cool that your friends told your parents about your self harm but in a way they did that because they care and worry about you. If you want friends to share about your suffering we are all here but you seem to have people who care about you IRL and you seem to care about them too. Anyway we're all here for you, if you need to talk or vent or even rant, don't hesitate.

 

[Lostandfound7]

Hey love..it sux that ur friends broke confidence but its cuz they care n wanna help u..well ur safe here to b open n discuss anything...if u need someone to talk to privately, u can pm me also...

 

[throwaway_2620]

I'm not a person who self harms, but I can understand why you do. I can understand being torn about ctb as I'm torn about it myself. As for your self harm scars, I'd advise you to conceal them in future so you don't risk ending up in a psych ward against your will for self harm as well as the possibility of being suspected you're suicidal. Personally, I'd advise you to try and "act normal" until people are no longer on your back (assuming they are), then decide for yourself whether or not you want to ctb. If you decide you want to ctb, I'd advise against methods that involve others (e.g. getting yourself hit by a car) as it will traumatize others, besides, if you survive you could end up worse off than before. Whether or not you decide to ctb, I wish all the best either way.
Sending you peace and hugs

 

[Deleted member 1465]

but all my friends just tell my parents about it and they call my doctor and it started a whole mess

May I ask how old you are kaetiye? I think your friends may be worried about you and want to help, they may feel out of their depth. Doctors aren't necessarily the answer, but they can be worth listening to and seeing if they can help. It works for some. But if you feel the need to share in confidence, there are people on here who self-harm and will understand.

 

[metapod]

May I ask how old you are kaetiye? I think your friends may be worried about you and want to help, they may feel out of their depth. Doctors aren't necessarily the answer, but they can be worth listening to and seeing if they can help. It works for some. But if you feel the need to share in confidence, there are people on here who self-harm and will understand.

i just turned 18. i've been institutionalized before when i was 15 and it was one of the worst weeks of my life. i guess i should try harder to hide my scars, i just wanted someone to share experiences with. even though i am suicidal, i don't think i would cut to ctb.

 

[Deleted member 1465]

I know, it's tough, you want to share but feel you can't trust the people you want to share with