I kinda always knew I’d end up CTB

[Mustkeyknow]

Since I was very young I knew I was going to CTB even if times were happy. It was my retirement plan, and I feel like my life would come full circle if I end up doing it. I feel like it was meant to be.

Does anybody feel the same way?

 

[astro]

I'm the exact opposite. I was supposed to be on top of the world. Suicide never once crossed my mind for the first 17 years of my life.

 

[randomz]

I know how you feel. Have you tried going to a therapis for those thoughts though?

 

[Mr. Whippy]

Me too, I always wanted to control my death, I just didn't know it would be so soon.

 

[oneanonymous]

Yeah, I've always felt that way. Even long before I was actually miserably suicidal, I always thought I'd probably kill myself at some point. I just always thought I'd be much, much older (I'm 33).

 

[to_rid_the_disease]

I know this sounds silly, but what sticks out for me is when I was young, I had a dream about ctb by jumping off a cliff. I think I was only around 12. I actually woke up on the floor because I fell out of bed lol. I've always thought about it over the years and although my method won't be that, I think I've always known that ctb was how my life was going to end.

 

[Cutepoison]

Weirdly, I've had the same feeling. Although I've had happy moments, i think subconsciously I knew I'd have control over how i die. Now i just need the method to work...

 

[MsMaudlin]

Yes! Me too, I'm surprised I have lasted this long. Always had a 'feeling'
❤

 

[eternalmelancholy]

Yeah it has become a self fulfilling prophecy.

 

[lostinthebleak]

For me I feel like it's inevitable unless a something miraculous happens. I'm at risk of losing my job. Lost my mom and grandma a year ago. Been fighting with my spouse a lot lately and feel like I'm becoming an alcoholic. I just want this pain to stop for good.

 

[Rational man]

Since I was very young I knew I was going to CTB even if times were happy. It was my retirement plan, and I feel like my life would come full circle if I end up doing it. I feel like it was meant to be.

Does anybody feel the same way?

I did as child around 10. I had dreams of jumping off the local multistory carpark roof.

Fait accompli !

More like my ideation of escaping from the dysfunctional family as a child.

Now i plan to exit due to chronic illness .!

 

[Hateyouprolife]

Since I was very young I knew I was going to CTB even if times were happy. It was my retirement plan, and I feel like my life would come full circle if I end up doing it. I feel like it was meant to be.

Does anybody feel the same way?

Welcome to club. I feel also this way. Living my last, and best week. Doing what ever I like I made peace with everything, lost my fear of death. Nothing to fear there.

Also fun fact that Im really sleep deprived.

 

[FuneralCry]

Yes, for such a long time ever since I was young I have been certain that suicide will be the way that I die. I cannot imagine myself dying from anything else. I have never wanted to be alive and I remember when I was very young finding death comforting and I could never understand people who wanted to live and enjoyed life. Things have been hopeless for me since the start. I am not meant for this world. Suicide is the only option for me, I refuse to put up with this life for decades.