Venting i just want to say i got my thoughts out there

[Mist]

i dont know why i do the things i do to myself. my life wouldnt be easy, but i think id have a shot if i didnt just fuck up everything. it sucks to think i wont try so many things because im just so much of a fuck up i have to ctb. the thought of going out to light the grill im going to use for co poisoning is such a solidifying task that it's scary.
almost every time im not doing something, i just sit and self deprecate or fetishize my death. right now im imagining each cell in my brain dying as each cell membrane dissolves to the beat of the song im listening to

 

[faust]

I am so sorry for the things that happening...
Maybe it is just not the time? Maybe something is still holding you there?
There is no need to hurry. Just remember, you are free to CTB whenever, no need to blame yourself of procrastinating.