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pony No.2

pony No.2

Pony
Oct 22, 2024
37
Tonight, Saturday night, was supposed to be the night I would die. But I'm too scared of causing more bodily pain and nausea and that it won't work like my past overdose attempts. I'm stuck. I just can't win in life. I'm considering buying rope and just hanging myself, that scares me too, I don't want to be in a vegetative state and kept on life support until my body gives up.

I want all of my problems to just stop, I want to stop feeling pain throughout my body, I want my mom who wronged me to face severe consequences and get justice for what she did to me as a child with no power or control over my situation. These things will haunt me for the rest of my life. I've always had a hard time keeping friendships and relationships and communicating, I was often bullied and made fun of or left out, so I was alone almost my entire life and felt ignored or rejected.

My mom is a horrible person, so is my dad who abandoned us. I was born to parents with a bunch of medical history of lifelong illnesses, I didn't ask for that. It was selfish of them to have me, I resent both of my parents. My dad for never being in my life, and my mom for physically and verbally abusing me, emotionally neglecting me and giving terrible advice. My parents, trauma, the way society is, capitalism, and my health issues are the main reasons I want to die.

It's so unfair. Why the fuck do we euthanize animals for being in pain but not humans? Humans with lifelong conditions, physical, neurological, mental, etc should have the option of dying, if you have a right to life then you have the right to death if you see fit, it's your life and not anyone else's, nobody can possibly know what's happening in your brain or in your life and what you go through every single day or what you've been through, chances are they won't understand even if they did know.

What's unethical is forcing someone to live and cope with painful or persistent conditions that affects their quality of life, you can't save everyone, you can't only care about making someone's life better or preserving life, you have to acknowledge what their current situation and quality of life is. A person can only cope for so long until it becomes unbearable, not everyone wants to live like that.

If they can't impove someone's quality of life, the least they can do is offer painless methods of dying to end unnecessary suffering that they can't do anything about. Life is so unfair and cruel, nobody has anything better to offer, yet they don't want to take matters into your own hands.

Coping and constantly trying to survive is NOT living. That itself, is not a life.
 
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