Venting I haven’t talked to people in days

[19andOverdue]

The chronic BPD ideation always goes on in my head, and it's affected every relationship I've had. It's to the point where I can't fall any further and I'm essentially alienated from the world and my past experiences. No one knows what I'm doing, but they wouldn't be surprised if they found out I was dead.

It's an existential pitfall. Realizing I'm alone in my pessimistic philosophy, and every good feeling I experience again will never have meaning if I ever do feel relief again for that matter.

I've started looking for DBT therapists again, I've been so stubborn in my depression. Maybe some neuroplasticity will work this time.

 

[FuneralCry]

I'm sorry that you are suffering like this. I cannot even imagine how hard it must be what you are going through. I hope that in whatever happens, you find some relief. Best wishes.

 

[Nirrend]

Hi @19andOverdue, I can only understand what you describe here, I'm BPD too.

In fact, even if I suffer of being alone and feeling alone permanently, I related on this.

Today, I realised that even if that makes me suffer, I prefer to not talk to people because I'm getting to a point where my suicidal crisis make me become harsh with anybody and I know longer allow for mistakes.

Feeling that no one will ever understand what mean living with BPD personality, with too strong emotional feeling, with feelings of loneliness, with suicidal ideation.

In any cases, I want to send you love, because I know how hard can be BPD, I understand theses moments when you remember memories of past with nostalgia, where you watch life with dramatic and sad tinted glasses. I also imagine how you feel when you feel incomplete.

Even if there is things you live that I will never understand because everybody is unique, I just want to send you love <3

Be strong friend

And other people os Sasu too, every pain is legitimate, because we are the one who define if this or that thing mean suffering to us, not the society.

In any case, love <3

 

[Hiraeth Grimoire]

I am sorry you are suffering friend. I also have gone far into the graveyard of philosophy. It is comforting sometimes to realize we all share suffering, instead of being entirely alone, despite the unpleasant fact that we are all fundamentally born alone, live alone, and die alone.

 

[theboy]

At least you're looking for professional help. I hope you do well on that

 

[chloramine]

Isolation is absolutely brutal, I'm sorry you're going through that. I hope the DBT therapy can help lighten the load a bit.

 

[19andOverdue]

Hi @19andOverdue, I can only understand what you describe here, I'm BPD too.

In fact, even if I suffer of being alone and feeling alone permanently, I related on this.

Today, I realised that even if that makes me suffer, I prefer to not talk to people because I'm getting to a point where my suicidal crisis make me become harsh with anybody and I know longer allow for mistakes.

Feeling that no one will ever understand what mean living with BPD personality, with too strong emotional feeling, with feelings of loneliness, with suicidal ideation.

In any cases, I want to send you love, because I know how hard can be BPD, I understand theses moments when you remember memories of past with nostalgia, where you watch life with dramatic and sad tinted glasses. I also imagine how you feel when you feel incomplete.

Even if there is things you live that I will never understand because everybody is unique, I just want to send you love <3

Be strong friend

And other people os Sasu too, every pain is legitimate, because we are the one who define if this or that thing mean suffering to us, not the society.

In any case, love <3

Thank you! I'm learning to be comfortable being by myself, and managing my bpd in a responsible way

 

[hellispink]

I also have bdp. This is an absolute nightmare. I am in the edge of leaving forever for real this time.