Stroopwafel.
Meow
- Jan 14, 2020
- 109
I have barely eaten in two days, because I'm too stressed to eat. And honestly it is very tempting to take SN at this point.
However, there some things I need to do first. I promised myself to not leave this world without taking many people/institutions with me. (figuratively, not literally of course) I promised that to my mom. Yesterday we promised each other that we will fight and are going to take down so many people, because it's been enough. I've been trying to get help for my problems for 6.5 years now, we made it to the point where the ministry of health and even the ministry of health himself, took my case. They have been forcing the same institution to help me twice now, but they still refuse.
I do not want help anymore. The last 6.5 years many people and institutions have ruined me even more than I already was. They took away all my dignity, I have 0 dignity left. There's nothing left to take anymore. There's nothing left to ruin anymore. I can not sink any deeper than this. I can not. I've been diagnosed with PTSD because of all the things that happend in those years.
But I will take all those damn people down with me. I will not go into my grave silently, I want people to know what happend and how the system killed me. They are killers. Before me they killed so many other people. And after me they are going to kill so many more. But I will make sure that everyone knows it, I will call them killers publicly. I am ready to really fight this time.
But yeah the container of SN in my drawer is really calling my name. I will force myself to eat and drink in a bit I guess, so that's it's not that tempting anymore.
However, there some things I need to do first. I promised myself to not leave this world without taking many people/institutions with me. (figuratively, not literally of course) I promised that to my mom. Yesterday we promised each other that we will fight and are going to take down so many people, because it's been enough. I've been trying to get help for my problems for 6.5 years now, we made it to the point where the ministry of health and even the ministry of health himself, took my case. They have been forcing the same institution to help me twice now, but they still refuse.
I do not want help anymore. The last 6.5 years many people and institutions have ruined me even more than I already was. They took away all my dignity, I have 0 dignity left. There's nothing left to take anymore. There's nothing left to ruin anymore. I can not sink any deeper than this. I can not. I've been diagnosed with PTSD because of all the things that happend in those years.
But I will take all those damn people down with me. I will not go into my grave silently, I want people to know what happend and how the system killed me. They are killers. Before me they killed so many other people. And after me they are going to kill so many more. But I will make sure that everyone knows it, I will call them killers publicly. I am ready to really fight this time.
But yeah the container of SN in my drawer is really calling my name. I will force myself to eat and drink in a bit I guess, so that's it's not that tempting anymore.
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