Venting i feel like nothing

[klm]

I feel so alone all the time, I feel completely empty, like I have no one, like I have nothing, I always feel like somethings missing and idk what, this world just seems so focused on the wrong things, I get hurt by everything and I can't build up enough energy to even maintain a healthy hygiene routine, I just don't know what to do, I'm so tired of everything and everyone, I don't even know why I'm writing this, I guess because I don't wanna be alone anymore, it hurts, it hurts so bad to have to keep going another day, I don't wanna have to ctb, but it feels like I do, I always fail at suicide anyways and end up in a mental facility looking like a crazy person for being sad, I don't wanna hurt anyone but committing suicide but it's like a dead end everywhere I look, it draining being this empty and sad all the time, I just want someone to love me, I've never had that before, I've never even been intimate with someone and that's concerning considering my age, I've never had any love beyond a family members love, I just wanna dissapear, idk what else to say, and I can't tell someone I'm suicidal or ill go to a mental hospital, it's hurts to feel hopeless like this, I've given up, god I just wanna die, I can't think of one thing that would bring me any joy

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand, it is very horrible being alive. I also live an empty, depressing existence. In my case I want absolutely nothing to do with life. Life is just pointless suffering day after day. It is painful when everything is hopeless. I wish you the best.