I feel Like a Broken Record but...

[ixkitty]

I feel like a broken record. I plan and plot but I never take action.. after this Bachelorette party.. I realized how useless of a human being I am. My mom did this favor of cleaning my apt. My apt that I can't even clean and I live in it. Granted it wasn't absolutely disgusting but there was cat hair everywhere, empty fridge, I had my medication sprawled out. She redecorated and put everything away... it hit me, I'm a useless person. I get up. I work. I come back and sleep ... I have plenty of time to do... whatever but I just lay in bed..taking up space.

So my friend is getting married at the end of the month and I'm participating in it...I want to do everything in my power to end it that night...I plan to take every pill I have in this building. I live alone with no partner so I should be okay to do it without having interruptions ... I hope to ingest some more SN if its still good... I've had it for over a year... I just want to put an end to my struggling.

 

[FuneralCry]

I'm sorry that you are suffering. I know that it is hard to carry on when you are struggling so much. I wish you the best in whatever happens.

 

[CommitSudoku]

Correct me if I misunderstood, but you plan to end things the night after your friend gets married? If that is the case I feel like mixing those two dates isn't the best idea. Working and getting up and doing the typical survival activities (eating, drinking, etc.) is in itself an accomplishment, especially since there are days where those aren't possible even if we wanted. I'm not sure what type of work you do, but perhaps that could be draining you excessively and add to the problem some. All that aside, I wish you the best with whatever you decide to do.