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I don't want anything else. I just want him back. I just want him to be my boyfriend and that's not gonna happen he said it himself, I'm too mentally ill. He feels like a caretaker in our relationship. That's why he wanted distance. That's why he wanted to give himself two weeks.
he said he wanted to stay friends, but he has so many friends. I just scared of becoming nothing to him, just one of many. I don't want that. I want to be special to him. I wanna be his girlfriend. I wanna be the one he loves.
i'm right next to the tracks.
You've already said your goodbyes before. You were on the phone for hours. Don't put him through this again. What happened probably hurt him a lot emotionally, which is why he wanted a break
no, he said his goodbyes and broke up with me and wanted the two week break, then an hour or two later I called him when I was at the train tracks and I cried with him for two hours while I was trying to say good, trying to say my goodbyes
I'm sure you're going to find a good person for you. There are so many people outside. I understand that you love him but focus on yourself, this is what it helps me when one of my exs left me..
I'm sure you're going to find a good person for you. There are so many people outside. I understand that you love him but focus on yourself, this is what it helps me when one of my exs left me..
Do something you like. Go outside, eat something you do like, see others friends, play to a game. You're not alone. My pm are always open anyway. If you want to vent, I'm here.
Be careful and take care of yourself, please. If you're not sure about what to do, don't do it. This is your choice but I don't want you to regret it.
Don't you think you haven't been without him enough to process your feelings? I mean, you said you broke up a couple weeks ago if I'm not wrong, it being this recent of course it's gonna feel like the worst it can possibly feel. Don't you think it may be better to wait? Even if you get to the same conclusion
Maybe you should call your sister? It seems like you have a pretty good relationship. Maybe she can offer you some comfort?
if i call anyone the cops trace it back to my location giving up my ctb opportunity.
You'll have more opportunities in the future. Nobody is talking you out of ever doing it, it's not what this forum is about. We're just asking you to do it in a way that doesn't risk hurting you in a way that is much stronger than the hardship of a breakup
just recorded my last voice message for my ex, just need to send it now
I'm sorry for what you're going through, but I'm glad you're still here.
he's not nearly a suicidal as I am. He just has like suicidal voices in his head because of his schizophrenia, but yeah, I worry that we'd drag each other down or he pulled me up tremendously, but I guess I was the one who dragged him down while he was pulling me up, so I don't know how I had to mend that. I don't know how to fix that. I don't know how to put myself into a good spot that that I can pull him up as well.
I don't think you should do it. You don't owe him anything, but since you care about him, you probably don't want to hurt him even more by another attempt whether successful or not. Somebody already suggested a decent idea. Say that you just wanted to take a break and breathe some fresh air and return to the hospital. If you decide to ctb, nobody is going to take that option away from you + you get a chance of fixing things with you bf
i just can't get myself to hit send, once i do it's ctb time.
My bad, I meant to say the opposite. If you decide not to ctb, you'll have more opportunities to do so in the future, but you also get an opportunity to fix things with your bf
I understand. It's just I worry that on June 18, that's when he broke up with me, and that's when I was on a call with him for two hours, and he cried a lot and he begged me not to kill myself, and I was gonna do it. I was gonna do it, but the police intercepted my calls, tracked my location, and halted all the trains, so I couldn't kill myself, but I'm just worried that putting him through such a traumatic call for two hours already strained our relationship beyond repair. I mean, he is breaking up with me because he felt like a caretaker. You know, I'm too fucking mentally ill, apparently. So I'm worried that you know that might be the straw that broke the camel's back and I don't think there's any coming back from that. I don't know how we would repair the relationship.
but calls mean the police will track me, i really just wanna talk to my ex, i just wanna know where we're at. maybe if the reply is bad it makes it easier to ctb?
i know i got issues qwq
