Venting I couldn't do it.

[ComradeJas]

I couldn't, I remembered my friend and couldn't do it, my family found me self harming after that and now they wont leave me alone.
I feel trapped in my own body, I need to escape.

My mother spoke to my friend that day, they said they were going to send me a message later, 4 days now and it never happened. I don't even remember if its 4 days already or more.
The anxiety eats me alive now, everything feels even worse than before, they probably know im such a piece of shit already.

They don't sleep now, they want to "Help" me, I just want it to go away.

Fuck this, everything feels terrible all the time and it has been going for so long.

 

[VIBRITANNIA]

maybe they sent a message to your mother? i know it seems unlikely, but you can always ask.

in what way is your family trying to "help" you? are they keeping an eye on you 24/7? or is it something else?

 

[Ghost2211]

That's awful, that amount of loss of freedom sounds hard to cope with. It will likely take time to regain their trust.