I can't stand myself

[Imcompleteidiot]

I want to know how someone can be so stupid to destroy every perfect opportunity that went there way like me. Why can't I ever act smart. In so stupid I destroyed everything in my life.

 

[jodes2]

Sorry you're suffering I hope you find a way to like yourself

 

[Hollowillow]

I want to know how someone can be so stupid to destroy every perfect opportunity that went there way like me. Why can't I ever act smart. In so stupid I destroyed everything in my life.

Trauma.

I lived in an appartment full of mold for 22 years. As an invalid (from mold poisonning probably) no one wanted to rent to me.

I got a cheap housing appartment, huge, modern, my total dream...

I was so scared to bring mold that I trashed almost everything. I cleaned the rest with loads of vinegar & dish soap.

I didcovered too late that I'm mega fragile to vinegar. Building materials too. Combined chemicals into weird stuff.

I'm in agony having severe allergic reactions. I think it even gave me epilleptic convulsions after taking a contaminated bath.

It merged deep with the avrylic. I'm probably allergic to that too. My mouth burns with a taste of varnish remover. My skin & eyes peel away.

No one believe me because it has no smell

So they turn on me & do psychological violence

I had to trash my clothes. To survive I need to move with nothing... I lost it all. My last chance to not be homeless.

I literally destroyed everything I own & in my home. It's invisible poison not fire, so no one helps no compassion.

I destroyed my last hope to live.

Decades of healing with mega doses of nutrition ruined. I can't even watch tv, go out, lost friends.

People try to find any other causes than the obvious trigget of using a bottle of acid in 1 shot to clean. Or they call me an idiot.

Please don't call yourself an idiot. Even if it's true, it's too mean. Everyone make mistakes. I need help to undo mine & they abandon me.

It's ok to make mistakes, was it as bad as I did? Was it truly EVERYTHING? even your very ability to see, eat, think? The poison destroyed who I am.

Are you sure it wasn't just a regular mistake on a learning path? Babies make mistakes at almost every step... Then less & less. But we make more when we try to explore new things, while we slowly master a skill. So mistakes can be a good thing.

Did they ruin your health, or only your self esteem? If your body is ok... Find comfort in knowing that screwing up is how we learn. Keep learning you'll find your skill eventually

Sorry you're suffering I hope you find a way to like yourself

You say the nicest stuff

 

[LostOne]

It was a series of small bad decisions which ruined things for me, didn't realise how bad things had got til it was too late…

 

[Hollowillow]

It was a series of small bad decisions which ruined things for me, didn't realise how bad things had got til it was too late…

I'd like details? Maybe you can start a new thing?

 

[Julgran]

I want to know how someone can be so stupid to destroy every perfect opportunity that went there way like me. Why can't I ever act smart. In so stupid I destroyed everything in my life.

Life is just a long line of trial-and-error events, many of which people tend to fail. You don't need to feel ashamed of yourself. It's also like a school test that's designed to make you fail

 

[LostOne]

I'd like details? Maybe you can start a

I'd like details? Maybe you can start a new thing?

Bad financial choices, pushed friends and family away…..pretty much self destructing and didn't realise…..new thing? Such as?

 

[Hollowillow]

I understand pushing people away when needing to heal. Epecially if they demand positivity.

New friends? New financial projects?

 

[makethepainstop]

I want to know how someone can be so stupid to destroy every perfect opportunity that went there way like me. Why can't I ever act smart. In so stupid I destroyed everything in my life.

Not everyone is a genius. Some of us just have to do the very best that we can.
We all have made stupid decisions in life, all of us. I am sorry for your pain, I understand you and your feelings. If we learn from our errors, they become stepping stones to making better decisions. Wish I could take the hurt away for you. Lots of love to you my friend.

 

[LostOne]

I think it may be too late for that now, I guess that's why I'm here…..just want to be alone now….whether here or in the afterlife, if there is one….

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

I did the same thing wrecking a series of incredible opportunities dating back to grade school decades ago… It's incomprehensible and insanely stupid… I still don't understand it

 

[Hollowillow]

I missed out on oportunities because I was sick, but they demanded that I'd be super duper happy! No. Too much pressure.

 

[FuneralCry]

It must be really painful dealing with all that regret. I'm sorry that life turned out this way for you. I bet that many people wish that they could go back in time and change things.

 

[Imcompleteidiot]

I did the same thing wrecking a series of incredible opportunities dating back to grade school decades ago… It's incomprehensible and insanely stupid… I still don't understand it

This is exactly how I feel

 

[Sick of it all]

It was a series of small bad decisions which ruined things for me, didn't realise how bad things had got til it was too late…

I too had blinders on until it was too late.

 

[Everlong]

I want to know how someone can be so stupid to destroy every perfect opportunity that went there way like me. Why can't I ever act smart. In so stupid I destroyed everything in my life.

How old are you?