Venting I can't be understanding

[cookiencream]

I can't be understanding, I can be told the reason why someone hurt me over and over but it's like once you hurt me in a certain way I just....don't care. I can hear your side but I'll never understand, I don't care enough to understand. I want to be mature but these days I'm wondering, will I get a prize at the end for making myself more miserable being mature? Idk, I'm tired