I'm so tired of feeling so fucking bad all the time. Just sad or angry for no reason. I want to hurt myself so bad and I've been clean for about 2 months-ish. Cutting myself seriously feels like the only thing that can bring me any relief because life feels so impossibly unbearable. I keep feeling so physically tense and I just can't release that stress and the only thing that feels like it would help is hitting myself on my head or cutting. I live with my partner who stops me from hurting myself but I have no idea how else to cope because I feel so awful all the time. I feel like at least if I could just cut myself then I would feel calmer during the day and maybe I wouldn't feel so miserable all the time. Don't know if it's true or not, but it feels like the only thing I can do that will bring any relief and I'm so so so tired. I know everybody always says that self harm is bad but I can't help but feel like, if it makes me feel okay, even just for a little while, isn't that okay? I just want a bit of relief. Every single moment feels so fucking awful. Why can't I just feel a little okay for a second. I'm trying so hard to keep everything together and stay alive. I want to give up already. I'm so tired. I just want to die.
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Bitcoin (BTC):Ethereum (ETH):Monero (XMR):Self-harm is often sought as a way to feel better in an environment where one has little control of what is happening to them. It can be like having a drink on a plane that is plummeting towards earth. The longer term solution is to take control of the plane.
Being able to see your life as something you can control can be a big step towards being able to resist the desire to SH. One way to develop that sense of control is to find small things you can do and build on that.
whatever000
Member
- Aug 14, 2026
- 12
The reason it temporarily "works" it's it's like this physical awakening/interruption which is helpful.
Try other physical interruptions. Ice water to the face. Ice shower. Shifting from laying on the sofa or bed like a burrito to the floor on your back. I tried all these ways and felt a little better.
The thing with hurting our selves is we say it's to feel better, but deep down we know it's muddied with also wanting to actually hurt ourselves. Eventually that hinders getting well if that makes sense. It ruins our self concept and our ability to heal fully because we are defined as being someone who does this. Speaking from experience
I still want to die all the time, but learning little tools help me spend much less time in the dark place. Overtime I hope it can continue to be less and less.
