Venting I am happy?

[LifeAfterDeath00]

I finally did it, I purchased SN, I still have to gather all the other things, but I still did it! It will take a few weeks, but I can wait. I never thought I had it in me, committing suicide seemed like a dream. I feel so happy now. I can finally let go of everything. I can finally have the perfect ending I have always dreamt of. I know people will say a lot of things, but fuck them. All they ever do is put someone down. The damage caused can be forgiven, but I am in a vulnerable state, and I won't let anyone take advantage of me. I can finally free myself! I want to celebrate, I want to roam around all over town. I no longer have attachments to this filthy place. I am doing this for me. I will do it. I will accomplish it.
I keep listening to Radiohead High and Dry. The lyrics resonate so much:
"They're the ones who'll hate you When you think you've got the world all sussed out They're the once who'll spit at you You'll be the one screaming out."
Finally, I will have silence. I will have my peace.

 

[theguineapigking]

Wow. Congratulations on this. You should indeed enjoy yourself in the next few weeks. You know what's best for yourself. But if you need someone to talk with,feel free to reply.

I truly hope you find peace and happiness.

 

[smile418]

I felt the exact same way on Sunday. It is extraordinary freeing knowing that you'll die soon.
It was beyond the shadow of a doubt that I was going to cbt. I was at complete peace with it. But in the end I decided to put it off for now.
I'm just saying if you're immediately before doing it things might change. Either way I form the bottom of my heart I wish that you find your peace. Whichever way you decide to go I will support you.