Venting I am destined to fail

[maplebar]

I cant really name a single person who really wants me around, especially not one that shows it I dont understand what I've did wrong because all ive been doing these years is being optimtistic and maintaining a good morality
If there is a God I must have upset him somehow because it seems like whatever I do it never lasts, he is cruel
Whenever I recieve something good the instant thought it "dont get your hopes up" because I know itll be ruined sooner or later
Maybe I just drive people away, maybe i am just full of bad luck its like somehow everyones trying to get me and the universe just wants to screw up my day
Its like hes testing me Im scared im angry im upset
A part of me is aware of the fact that nothing would really change if i just got up to CTB
One side of me is sad over that, knowing I never really meant anything to anyone
Another side is glad because then the people i care about wont be too sad, theyll be ok after awhile and everything will be back in order

 

[Halfhourdays]

Maybe you need better friends.