Venting I am not loved at all lmao

[Bunchie487]

Just love it when Im venting to my gf and she just goes "your brain is so weird, I hope they study it when you die" like oh, thanks, like I didn't already know I was fucked up.

I've been giving subtle signs of my plan, so I followed that up with "soon", as in I'll be dead soon enough so whoever " they" is can, then she just sends a tiktok.

I really am not cared about, huh? I mean I already knew that, but this has just really made me realize. Maybe she just thinks I'm bluffing, because I have before when talking about killing myself. But that's okay, the less she's aware, the less obstacles.

 

[ipmanwc0]

sorry, i know it feels bad when people disregard your suffering when you reach out to them. but it doesn't mean she doesn't love you, why is she with you then? people are pretty inexperienced talking about this

 

[eggsausagerice]

people try to cope with things that make them uncomfortable through humor. what she said was honestly hurtful and dismissive of what you were venting about, though. most people don't want to take into account the things they say because they forget about it after the say it, or because they don't want to apologize for hurting your feelings.

@ipmanwc0 is right that most people don't know how to talk to someone dealing with suicidal thoughts, even if they've been suicidal or depressed themselves. i think most people just want to avoid talking about and try to make you stop by dismissing it. i've stopped talking about it with most people in my life because of this.

 

[Bunchie487]

sorry, i know it feels bad when people disregard your suffering when you reach out to them. but it doesn't mean she doesn't love you, why is she with you then? people are pretty inexperienced talking about this

I am too much to handle, but shes told me over and over again to tell her instead of bottling up my troubles, yet responds like this. I don't really know anymore. She hardly notices when I bottle things up because I just explode when no one is around and then go back to normal, so maybe I should just do that or vent here more

people try to cope with things that make them uncomfortable through humor. what she said was honestly hurtful and dismissive of what you were venting about, though. most people don't want to take into account the things they say because they forget about it after the say it, or because they don't want to apologize for hurting your feelings.

@ipmanwc0 is right that most people don't know how to talk to someone dealing with suicidal thoughts, even if they've been suicidal or depressed themselves. i think most people just want to avoid talking about and try to make you stop by dismissing it. i've stopped talking about it with most people in my life because of this.

I wasn't venting about suicide, it was something else and I was being more like "my mind is killing me" and being as less descriptive as I could specifically so it wouldn't be too much, but I guess even that is. I don't know, she tells me that she doesn't want me to burry my feelings, and acts like she can give a listening ear, but when it actually comes to it its just.. Dismissed sorta as you put it. I wish she'd just be honest and tell me she can't handle it, but she doesn't have to now, I'll just stop, I can just put my bottled up emotions into my art or something else to distract me

 

[ipmanwc0]

have you told her you feel this way? if not, you should do so

 

[Bunchie487]

have you told her you feel this way? if not, you should do so

Its very difficult talking with her.. just not too long ago she wanted to be intimate over the phone and I did so just because I always give in because it makes her happy and then after I opened up and said I felt a bit uncomfortable and sometimes it feels like too much and then she leaves me on read then eventually told me to leave her alone that she was talking with her friend. Yeah, I know, this isnt right, but ive pretty much have dug my grave. Shes my everything, she has made me feel the worst and the best I ever had, she is sweet at times. This looks so pathetic on my part but I accept I am, I probably have no reason to be even venting about how she treats me when I let it happen, but its whatever, at least I'm aware how stupid this looks